


smash, bang, crash

by orphan_account



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Art Nerds, Asexual character(s), Dysphoria, Homophobia, M/M, Painting, Panic Attacks, Photography, Steffie and Jeremy and Cole are banter bros, Suicide Attempt, Theater Nerds, Trans Character(s), Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-06-01 11:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 37,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6517441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Jeremy wanted was to get kids to join the theater club.<br/>Did his plans involve smashing cars, sledge hammers, and an oddly adorable Liberal Arts major?<br/>No, but Steffie's plans did, so it happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. automobile obliteration

Formally, Jeremy would like to sit Steffie down and tell her why exactly this Fall Festival car smash booth was a bad idea. Informally, Jeremy would like to punch Steffie in the face.

“It’ll be fun!” Steffie said during the planning meeting. “You get to see hot guys smash up a car and we raise money for the theater club.”

“Who ever said anything about hot guys?” Jeremy asked, looking for any way possible to get out of this.

“You. Literally half the time.” Cole said and Jeremy sighed.

“Do it.” Steffie whispered, staring directly into Jeremy’s soul.

That conversation is exactly why Jeremy is now sitting in the unseasonably cold weather on the quad next to Steffie’s old, broken car. People mill around him, not really wanting to be the first person to beat up a poor, defenseless car. Jeremy sighs, pushing a hand through his hair and looking down. Then someone clears their throat and he looks up. It’s a tall, lanky kid with black hair and what looks like zero muscle mass that Jeremy kind of recognizes.

“You’re in my psych, aren’t you?” Jeremy asks and the kid nods.

“Uh, yeah. I’m Trevor. Can I do this?” Jeremy nods quickly.

“Two dollars and you get a sledge hammer and five minutes.” Trevor fishes two dollars out of his pocket and hands it over.

“Now everyone gets to see me go crazy, right?” Jeremy shrugs.

“Trevor, this is college. If you’re not crazy, you’re not doing it right.” Trevor laughs and takes the sledge hammer. And then he fucking attacks the car. Jeremy did not think that someone who seemed like sunshine and puppies could have so much pent up anger and aggression, but apparently Trevor does. 

Five minutes stretch on forever and a small crowd has gathered around to watch Trevor mercilessly mutilate the poor, poor car. Eventually, Trevor hands back over the sledge hammer and safety glasses, grinning slightly maniacally.  

“Thanks.” He starts to walk away and Jeremy hurries to set up the next person in the now long line before he chases after Trevor.

“Wait, wait!” Trevor turns and Jeremy runs full speed into his chest. “Uh… Sorry. I just wanted to say, I’m part of the theater club, you should come check it out sometime. Thursday nights in the old auditorium.. We do improv nights and sometimes we just watch movies. You don’t have to, but it would be cool if you could, if you don’t already have plans.” Trevor laughs, quietly.

“Who put you on recruiter duty? You’re absolutely horrible at this. But, yeah, I’ll check it out.” Trevor then walks away and Jeremy hurries back to the stand where a tiny girl with purple hair is tearing into the car like there’s no tomorrow.

“I told you that it would be a great idea!” Steffie crows that night over non-alcoholic drinks at a small, hole-in-the-wall bar. Jeremy sighs.

“You did. I should’ve believed you.” Steffie nods.

“Of course. I’m always right.” Cole leans forward, putting his head on his hand.

“And who was that guy? The first one?” 

“Trevor? He’s in my psych, got the whole ball rolling.” Cole leans farther forward.

“You ran into his chest.” He narrows his eyes, then leans back. “You like him.”

“I do not.” Jeremy says, tapping on his fingers on the scarred table.

“Oh, you totally do.” Steffie says, clinking her glass with Cole’s. “You called it.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Jeremy says. “I definitely do not like Trevor. We’ve never even talked before today.”

“Jeremy’s got a crush.” Steffie sing songs and promptly ducks down to avoid a thrown french fry.

“I hate both of you.” 

“You can’t push us away.” Cole reaches across the table and puts his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “We’re your only friends.”

“But he has Trevor.” Steffie chimes in, eyes sparkling, maliciously.

“True.” Cole admits, taking his hand off of Jeremy. “God bless your little gay soul.” Steffie chokes.

“Shut up, Cole.” Cole shrugs.

“Just saying the truth, man.” He puts his hand over his heart. “I was chosen at a young age to be a vessel for our lord and savior.”

“I am going to hurt you, Cole.” Jeremy threatens, brandishing another french fry.

“Okay, okay, boys, calm down. This isn’t a competition. You can both be super gay.” Cole splutters, trying to protest. “But what are we doing this Thursday?”

“Well, we just did a movie, didn’t we?” Cole says, tapping his fingers against his chin. “How about improv? Like, pick a partner, pull a scenario out of a hat. For example, Jeremy would pick Trevor and then pull out ‘hopelessly in love’.”

“I will fucking murder you.” Jeremy hisses and Cole holds up his hands.

“Now you have a witness.” He tilts his head towards Steffie, who smirks.

“That’s actually a good idea, Cole. Let’s do it. Hopefully we’ll have some new people this week.”

“We should, actually.” Jeremy says. “This purple haired girl sounded interested and there were a few others who took pamphlets.”

“And Trevor.” Cole stage whispers. Jeremy slams his hands down on the table.

“Alright, man, let’s fucking go.” Cole stands up.

“Yeah? Well, come at me then!” Steffie sighs.

“Sit down, Cole. I swear to God, I can’t go anywhere with you two. Apologize to Jeremy, it’s not his fault that he’s mega-gay.” Jeremy scoffs and Cole rolls his eyes.

“I’m  _ so  _ sorry, Jeremy. I never meant to hurt your feelings.” Steffie nods.

“And for the sarcasm, you will buy us all ice cream.” Cole swears under his breath as Steffie drags them out of the bar.

They end up going to their favourite ice cream place, yet another small, not-that-popular place. Jeremy recognizes the girl behind their counter.

“Oh! Hey! You smashed the car today, right?” The girl nods.

“I did! I’m Meg.”

“Jeremy. Cole and Steffie.” He points at them.

“I’m going to come to the theater club this week. I would have come much sooner, but I kind of didn’t realize that it existed.” Steffie laughs.

“Our fault. Our posters didn’t have enough glitter.” Cole huffs.

“That’s because you put literally all the glitter in my hair.” Steffie blinks.

“Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten about that. We look forward to seeing you, yeah? Bring your friends!” Cole unwillingly pays and they leave, ice cream in hand.

“Cole, what is that monstrosity you have?” Jeremy asks, staring at Cole’s ice cream cone.

“Root beer and peanut butter…?” Jeremy stares at him.

“Man… What the actual fuck?”


	2. forced bonding time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't figure out how to dedicate chapters to people oops  
> anyways  
> The_Problematic_Blender , this is for you. *finger guns* you made me excited for this story <3

“Man, we actually have more than three people now.” Steffie comments, surveying the few rows of scattered people.

“Aw, were you getting tired of me?” Cole asks and Steffie looks at him, thoughtfully.

“Yes, actually. If you could leave now, please. Your Steffie Friend Club membership has been terminated.” Cole lets out an unnatural squawk. 

“Is he here yet, Jeremy?” Cole asks, sliding across a few chairs and into Jeremy’s lap.

“No.” Jeremy admits. “Meg is, though. Hi, Meg!” He calls out and she jumps over, tugging a taller man along with her.

“Hey, Jeremy! This is Ryan. He’s getting a degree in the theatre.” She stage whispers the last part and Ryan rolls his eyes.

“I would have joined this club sooner, but I kind of… Didn’t know that it existed?” Steffie hangs her head, dramatically.

“We get that a lot. It’s because our posters didn’t have enough flowers, isn’t it?” Cole squawks again.

“Steffie! You put all of the flowers in my hair!” Steffie looks at him.

“Oh. I did, didn’t I?” Meg laughs and she pulls Ryan over to sit down with her. “It’s so great to actually have people here, guys. You two were kind of getting boring. And now we have more people to submit movie suggestions!”

“But I love The Wicker Man.” Cole grouses, picking at Jeremy’s jeans and looking at the auditorium doors. “Hey, is that him?” Jeremy stands abruptly and dumps Cole onto the floor in a graceless heap. He walks up the auditorium aisle.

“Hey, man. I didn’t really think that you’d come…” Jeremy rubs his head, bashfully, and Trevor laughs.

“No, man, you just did such a good job of convincing me to come, you know?” He places a hand over his heart. “It was just so moving, it pushed me right through these doors.” Jeremy groans.

“That was… That was horrible. Should I hate you or love you?”

“Maybe just some apathy towards me, yeah?” Jeremy nods.

“Doable. You want to come sit down? I think Cole is getting annoyed?” He nods his head towards Cole, who is tapping his foot against the stage. Trevor winces and they sit down next to each other.

“Well, thank you!” Cole says, shooting the pair the bird. “I like to be respected, you know.” Steffie throws a pencil at him. “Ow, ow, Jesus, okay, okay, fine! Fine. You hear this, Steffie? You’ve interrupted me now. So!” Cole claps his hands together, jarringly. “I’m Cole. The mean one is Steffie and the one that was talking to the other dude is Jeremy. We’re basically the ring leaders here, you got problems, come to us. Theatre club, guys! That’s what this is! So, every few meetings we watch movies, suggestion box is over there.” He gestures somewhere off stage. “Tonight we’re just doing improv. Partners, pull a scene from the hat, act and we guess. Steffie and I wrote these prompts, so we’ll only guess if it’s a last measure. And for our first pair.” His eyes settle on Jeremy. “Let’s go with my favourite, Jeremy Dooley! And that guy that walked in last! Give them a round of applause, guys!” There’s a smattering of applause as Jeremy and Trevor take the stage, Jeremy patting Cole on the back a little too hard as he takes his seat. Trevor offers up the hat to Jeremy and he pulls one out. It reads ‘person A serial killer, person B the friend who doesn’t know that A is trying to kill them’.

“You’re A?” Jeremy offers and Trevor chuckles.

“Sure. We’ve got a timer or anything?” He looks at Cole who nods.

“Three minutes. Wrap it up by that time.” Trevor nods, takes a breath, and looks at Jeremy.

“So… Poor Cole, right? I mean, when I invited you guys out in these creepy, poorly lit woods, I didn’t think that anyone would die.” Cole throws his hands up in the audience and Jeremy stifles his laughter.

“Yeah, man. Let’s have a moment of silence.” They fall silent and then after a second and a half Jeremy speaks again. “That’s long enough.” Trevor nods.

“I agree.” Trevor jumps suddenly. “Did you hear that?” Jeremy shakes his head. “Why don’t we go over to that even darker place and check it out?” Jeremy nearly breaks character, but he saves it at the last moment.

“Yeah, sure, man. I mean, we’re obviously not going to die. We’re white dudes.” Trevor nods. “I mean, we’re either the saviors or the killer.” Trevor lets out a high pitched laugh that definitely isn’t creepy or forced at all.

“That’s not true. But, like, we should go over there.” Jeremy nods.

“Sure, I trust you.” Trevor laughs, a high pitched giggle that does not fit him at all.

“Those were Cole’s last words… Moment of silence. Nah, I’m kidding.” Cole throws his hands up again and subsequently slides further down in his seat. Trevor launches himself at Jeremy and topples him over.

“Jesus, man!” Jeremy shouts. “I didn’t know you were into this…”

“You never know until you try.” Trevor smirks, barely containing his laughter. “You know what I really like? Slowly, slowly choking my partner until they die.” Trevor and Jeremy stare into each other’s eyes for a few more seconds than is necessary and then the timer goes off, harsh and loud. The auditorium erupts into cheers and Trevor helps Jeremy off the floor.

“I fucking hate you both. I’m traumatized.” Cole says, approaching them. “Any guesses?”

“Serial killer erotica?” A guy in the back shouts out. Cole shrugs.

“Close enough, come on up. Bring a friend.” The guy and another, shorter male, walk up. “Names? And then go.”

“I’m Miles, and this is Kerry.” Miles fishes around in the hat and pulls something out. “I feel like this was tailored to meet somebody’s needs, but okay…” He puts his hand on Kerry’s shoulder.

“Hey, man. How are you?” Kerry relaxes into his touch.

“Oh, you know. I’m pretty good.” Kerry says as Miles starts to massage his back.

“So, you know, we’ve been friends for a while, I think we should take it to the next level…” Kerry gasps.

“The boss level?!” Miles nods.

“Guess who’s the boss here?” He has made his voice strangely deep and someone in the audience is dying of laughter. Miles and Kerry launch into a long winded string of sex jokes and innuendos that ends up with them both ducking behind that stage curtains as the timer goes off.

“Okay.” Miles says. “I’m just going to say right now that the prompt was, and I quote ‘Fall in love, mothefuckers’.” Jeremy glares at Cole, who begins to whistle innocently and stare at the ceiling.

Eventually, everyone in the auditorium gets on stage, Ryan even pulled out an A+ Scottish accent. By the end though, Jeremy is yawning as Cole takes the stage again.

“Guys, that was great. I’m now scarred for life, but still!” The people chuckle. “So, we’re having a Dungeons and Dragons game in a few days at Steffie’s apartment. You should all come, I’ll be your dungeon master.” He smacks his face. “God, that didn’t sound… Whatever. Just come.” He hops off the stage and makes his way over to Steffie, Jeremy, and Trevor.

“You guys want to come get some coffee?” Steffie offers and Jeremy nods, enthusiastically.

“Yes. Yes, Steffie, you wonderful goddess.”

They walk just off campus to the best coffee shop ever in all of history. It probably helped that it was called The Greatest Drug: Caffeine and that ‘Caffeine’ was in very small letters. They order and sit down with their coffee in one of the corner booths.

“That was really good.” Steffie says. “Are you in theatre?” Trevor shakes his head.

“Nah, I’m not cut out for it. Super stressful you know?” Steffie snorts.

“Boy, do I.” She looks at her watch. “Ah, damn. Cole, we’ve gotta go by the crafts store before it closes.”

“Oh, shit! I forgot about that. Doesn’t it close in, like, ten minutes? Fuck! Nice meeting you, Trev, but we’ve really got to dash.” Jeremy glares into his coffee and tries to ignore his friends’ attempts to set Trevor and himself up.

“You’re a theater kid, then?” Trevor asks and Jeremy nods.

“Born and raised. Not actually, though. I got into it in early high school and it kind of stuck around.” Trevor smiles.

“That’s cool as hell. I’m an arts loser. Photography and sketches and paints.” Jeremy scoffs.

“Art kids are usually the coolest kids. Or the stoners. It depends on where you are.” Trevor laughs. “Can I see any of your work?”

“I don’t really carry my portfolio around.” Jeremy braces himself to apologize. “But I can find something. Just follow me.” They lay a few bills on the table and Trevor sweeps out of the cafe, Jeremy following closely behind.

Trevor leads Jeremy through a weaving and twisting maze of alleyways that Jeremy is sure he’ll never be able to navigate again. Eventually, they reach a high chain fence and Trevor scales it easily. Jeremy has a bit more travel, but he gets over it eventually.

“Over here.” Trevor says, leading Jeremy further into the moonwashed scene. It’s a skate park, it seems like, grey cement and metal. And then Jeremy sees what Trevor was talking about. It’s a large ramp, covered in graffiti. It’s a picture of a fire, flames twisting and writhing before Jeremy’s eyes. The smoke that floods upwards forms into the shape of a multi-coloured bird, wings spread up to the sky.

“That’s fucking awesome.” Jeremy breathes and Trevor looks down.

“Thanks.” His voice is quiet.

“It really is though.” He looks around once more. “Do you skateboard?” Trevor shakes his head.

“Not exactly. I roller blade.” 

“Dude, that’s so cool! I can skate. Kind of…” Trevor laughs.

“We’ll have to go sometime then, yeah? Maybe I can turn your ‘kind of’ into a ‘I can most definitely skate!” Jeremy laughs.

“We’ll have to, yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was about 600 words longer than the first chapter  
> and i have the next two chapters outlines  
> you can find me on twitter @RunawayCaboose  
> tune in next time to find out what else Steffie has put in Cole's hair


	3. Exactly one goat emoji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy what is this?  
> another chapter?  
> yes!

“Jeremy, my bijou friend!” A book lands heavily on the table next to Jeremy and Trevor is grinning down at him.

“What does that even mean?” Jeremy asks, moving his plate away from Trevor’s book.

“Small and elegant.” Jeremy snorts.

“That’s just… Trevor, what am I going to do with you?” Trevor shrugs and sits across from Jeremy.

“Dunno, man. There aren’t a lot of rivers around here to dump the body.” Jeremy clicks his tongue in mock disappointment.

“Trevor, Trevor, Trevor. Never make your fall back murder plan something that relies on geographical landmarks.” Trevor groans.

“Yes, murder mother.” Jeremy laughs, nearly choking on a french fry.

“That has a nice ring to it. Murder mother…” Cole, apparently, was walking by because all of a sudden he is sprawled across the table.

“You called?” Jeremy smacks Cole’s hand.

“Not you, me! I am the murder mother!” Trevor is laughing and he slides off the chair. Cole and Jeremy look down at him. “I think it would be safe to say that I killed him, so I am most definitely the murder mother.” Cole puts up his hands.

“Fine, fine.” He peers further over the table to where Trevor has stopped laughing and is now wheezing, a smile pasted on his face.. “You need some help up?” Cole reaches down, Trevor grabs his hand and pulls him onto the floor with him. Jeremy shakes his head and stands up.

“You kids have fun. Murder mother has a lecture. I’ll see you two later, yeah?” He walks off, wondering if some kind stranger will take pity on Trevor and Cole and help them off be floor. Probably not.

**Unknown Number (6:30): hey jerry**

_ You (6:33): who is this? _

**Unknown Number (6:33): trevor**

Jeremy quickly changes the name in his phone to Exactly one goat emoji.

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:34): you just named me, didn’t you?**

_ You (6:35): It’s a possibility _

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:36) : what is it???**

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:36): whatever name you’ve picked for me will be my name in the next life**

_ You (6:37): I pity you then _

_ You (6:38): It’s 'Exactly one goat emoji’ _

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:39): …**

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:39): i don’t know how you knew this, but that sums me up so perfectly**

_ You (6:40): I know _

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:40): just so you know, yours is ‘murder mother’**

_ You (6:41): Jesus… _

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:41): are you proud of me, mom?**

**Exactle one goat emoji (6:43): hey want to come over and break some pots?**

_ You (6:44): Why exactly?? Are you refining your murder plan with pottery? _

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:44): art stuff**

Jeremy slides off of his couch and slips on his Converse. He’s out the door before he even texts again.

_ You (6:46): Sure. Where do you live? _

Jeremy is looking down at his phone, waiting for a response, and collides with someone’s chest as he turns the corner. He looks up, and it’s Trevor.

“Oh, hey.” Trevor says, tilting his head. “I was just looking for you.”

“Oh, were you now?” Trevor nods.

“I know it’s hard to believe. You up for some smashing, then?” He shifts the garbage bag over his shoulder and what Jeremy assumes is the pottery clinks inside.

“Always, man.”  Trevor grins.

“Looks like we’re going to have a smashing time.” Jeremy stares at him.

“Should I be bowing or something…?” Trevor laughs. “Where are we doing this? We can’t really do it in the dorms, can we?” Trevor shakes his head.

“Follow me.” Trevor leads Jeremy through a few more hallways and easily pushes open the door to a cupboard full of brooms. “The broom closet. Hold this, yeah?” He hands off the bag to Jeremy, who watches him, curiously. Trevor stands on top of an overturned bucket and starts wiggling the window until it slides upward with a bang.

“I thought all the windows were sealed.” Jeremy says and Trevor smirks.

“They forgot one.” He crawls quickly out the window and pokes his head back in. “There’s a fire escape out here. I’ll take the bag.” Jeremy hands it over and wriggles through the window with slightly more difficulty than Trevor had.

The fire escape is old and rusty, but sturdy and it holds their weight as they dash up to the top. It’s windy and Trevor’s cheeks are already turning ruddy. The sky is streaked cotton candy purple as Trevor pulls a tarp from the bag and rolls it out.

“We’re not smashing precious heirlooms or anything, are we?” Trevor laughs.

“Nah, I hit up a thrift store today.” He stands up and looks at Jeremy. “Guests first.” Jeremy rummages through the bag and wow, Trevor really did hit up the thrift store. He pulls out a blue saucer with darker blue specks. He raises it, and then smashes it onto the tarp, feeling an immense satisfaction as it splinters and shatter. Trevor goes next, smashing a fancy, blue, floral teapot and screeching as he does so. Jeremy doubles over, laughing.

They take turns and the sound of ceramic colliding with the hard roof fills the air. Jeremy can’t help but wonder what Trevor needs the pieces for, and he notices that each piece is shade of blue, save some dark purple and black. When every last piece is smashed, Trevor rolls up the tarp, pieces inside, and places it back in the bag.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Trevor says, looking around. Jeremy nods. 

“Yeah, it is.” Jeremy looks up to see a few stars peeking through the darkness. “I fucking love space.” 

“Yeah?” They sit down on the edge of the roof together and Jeremy launches into a tale.

“Space is fucking fantastic. It’s infinite, or at least as infinite as our minds can handle. And it’s beautiful. Look at it.” He sweeps a hand upwards. He continues to explain how black holes work, and halfway through his description of a neutron star, he starts to shiver. Trevor takes off his own jacket and wraps it around Jeremy’s shoulders, content to hear all about the inky blackness dotted with light that hangs above them. 

The sky is lightening and Jeremy has bestowed all of his knowledge of space upon Trevor.

“You want to get some coffee?” Trevor asks and Jeremy nods. They walk back down the fire escape and slip back through the window. Trevor quickly stows the bag in his dorm and they walk out of the building together in a comfortable silence. It isn’t until they have coffee in hand that they speak again.

“What’s your favourite place in the city?” Trevor asks, chin resting upon his hand.

“There’s this park that I really like.” Jeremy’s coffee is bitter, but it’s good. “It’s kinda cheesy, but there’s a grove of trees, yeah? If you go really deep into them, there’s a little pond and bluebells in a clearing.”

“Sounds beautiful.” Trevor says and Jeremy nods.

“Where’s yours?”

“Not actually in the city.” Trevor says. “It’s a half an hour walk or about an eight minute car ride. It’s this old mansion in the woods. The sun always shines really nicely in it and even though it’s old and abandoned, it doesn’t look that bad. There’s this window near the top that’s unlocked.” Jeremy smiles.

“You’ll have to take me sometime.”

“And I want to see your magical pond.” Jeremy’s phone chirps.

Snail Snail Snail (7:18): jer where are you? Cole needs help with this essay that’s due in four hours

“Ah, sorry, Trevor. I’ve got to go. That was Steffie, Cole needs help with a paper.” Trevor smiles.

“Go help him out, man. I’m holding you to that pond promise, though.” Jeremy nods and waves goodbye. He doesn’t realize that he still has Trevor’s leather coat around his shoulders until he’s back on campus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that was that. you can find me on twitter @RunawayCaboose  
> if you have small-ish things that you want me to incorporate into it, let me know  
> and i have the next three chapters planned out :DD  
> What exactly will happen on Dungeons and Dragons night??? Why is Steffie called 'Snail Snail Snail'??? What is Cole on Jeremy's phone??? Tune in soon to find out!!!  
> comments make the world go round ;)


	4. repertoire of skills

“Come on, Ben and Jerry. This thing really can’t wait!” Jeremy groans as Steffie pushes the double doors to the library open.

“What is up with these weird nicknames lately?” Steffie snorts.

“You are literally the giver of weird nicknames. Exactly one goat emoji?” Jeremy shakes his head.

“I should never have told you that.” Steffie sticks out her tongue.

“I know everything anyway. I need not your mortal informance!” She leads Jeremy over to a table and forces him to sit. “I will retrieve the book.”

“Steffie, I can get it…” Steffie shakes her head.

“Jeremy, you literally got lost the last time you were in here alone. Plus, you can’t reach the top shelves. Stay, small human.” Jeremy groans and rests his forehead against the table as Steffie walks away. He vows that he will not lift his head from the table until Steffie comes back with book, which actually isn’t that long because a few minutes later, there are footsteps leading up to the table. He lifts his head a tiny bit off the table and peers up at Steffie and Trevor. Trevor?

“Look who I found!” Steffie crows. “Infinitely better than any book!” Trevor chuckles. His face is flushed and the hem of his shirt is wrapped around his fingers.

“I don’t know about that…” Trevor protests. “Some books are pretty neat-o.” Steffie groans.

“Neat-o? What is this, 1992? I take it back, you’re so not cool.” Trevor shrugs.

“Can’t help it, man.” Steffie clicks her tongue.

“Hey, Trevor.” Jeremy says. Trevor smiles.

“Hey. You have a good nap?” Jeremy shakes his head.

“I didn’t sleep! I was waiting for Steffie!” Trevor nods.

“Yeah, sure.” Steffie is barely containing her laughter.

“How’s your art coming along?” Trevor rubs the back of his head.

“Uh, pretty good…? You helped a lot, you know. It would have taken me so long to do that on my own.”  Steffie shoots a confused look between the two of them, before putting a hand on Trevor’s shoulder.

“You gonna come to Dungeons and Dragons tonight?” Trevor bites his lip.

“I don’t know, actually. I’ve never played it before, I don’t think I’d be any good.” Steffie shakes her head.

“Nah, man, you’d be great. Plenty of places to dispose of bodies, and plenty of people to kill.” Trevor looks confused.

“What?” 

“All will be explained tonight.” Steffie says, waving a hand through the air. Trevor just looks more confused.

“...I’ll come?” Steffie punches the air.

“Sweet! It’ll be so much more fun with you there.” Jeremy nods.

“Totally, man.” Trevor blushes.

“Should I bring food…?” Jeremy shrugs.

“If you want. We’ve generally got some stuff set out, but you’re welcome to bring anything you want.” Jeremy looks up at Steffie. “Did you ever find the book on Shakespeare?” Steffie laughs, nervously.

“Of course!” She lies. “I just left it back there. I’ll go get it!” She dashes away, nearly falling around the corner. Trevor snorts.

“I should go, yeah? I’ve got a lecture.” Jeremy nods. “But I’ll see you tonight?”

“Of course, man.” Trevor walks off.

That night, Jeremy is waiting for Trevor to arrive. Everybody else is already there, just kind of hanging out and waiting for Cole to set up the board on Steffie’s table. The doorbell rings and Jeremy lunges to open the door before anyone else. It’s Trevor, of course, but he looks sheepish and is holding a watermelon.

“Trevor, did you bring a watermelon?” Trevor looks down at the aforementioned watermelon in his hands.

“Uh… It looks like it?” Jeremy laughs and takes the watermelon from Trevor. He sets it on the counter across from the table.

“Dude, is that a watermelon?” Steffie asks and Trevor looks down.

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t really know what to bring to a party…” Steffie shakes her head quickly.

“I love watermelon! C’mon, let’s go sit down. I think we’ve missed part of Cole’s speech, thank god.”

They did miss Cole’s speech and the other players are in the middle of designing their players.

“I’m a lizard.” Miles declares. Cole chokes on a cracker.

“Like, a lizard person…?” Miles shakes his head.

“Just a lizard.” Kerry puts his head in his hands.

“Uh, okay?” Trevor and Jeremy outline their characters quickly. Trevor is a bad-ass elf, long knives or swords as a preferred weapon, and Jeremy is a mercenary for hire, good with a sword. Cole leans forward, grinning widely, too widely.

“Cole, what are you going to do?” Jeremy asks, cautiously. Cole just leans forward farther.

“Jeremy and Trevor are trapped inside a cave together. It’s dark and dry and seemingly empty. You decide to venture further into the cave. All of a sudden, light! You have stumbled across a glowing dragon and it doesn’t seem very pleased to have found you in his house. Trevor! What will you do?” Trevor glances at Jeremy before speaking.

“I throw a knife at it, subsequently cutting its jugular vein and killing it.” Cole shakes his head.

“No, man, you can’t do that. You can only do what you or your character has knowledge of. Knife throwing is-” Trevor moves quickly and he snatches the knife off of the cheese platter. He throws it before Cole realizes what’s happening, and it embeds itself hilt deep into the watermelon that he brought. Cole looks thoroughly frightened. “Apparently one of your many skills.”

“Oh, god, I’m sorry.” He stands and walks over to the watermelon. In one fluid motion, he’s pulled out the knife and he hands it to Cole, who take sit gingerly. “I’m sorry, Steffie.” Trevor apologizes. “I got cheese all over your watermelon.”

“It’s fine.” Steffie chokes out between laughs. Miles has fallen off his chair and has begun to hyperventilate under the table.

“Please don’t kill me.” Cole says, casually sweeping all utensils away from Trevor’s seat. 

“I’ll try not to?” Trevor offers and it seems to do nothing for Cole because he leans farther away from the table.

Jeremy and Trevor end up teaming up after the dragon debacle. Jeremy declares that he owes a debt to Trevor for saving his life, and he repays this debt by slaughtering everyone else in the game with Trevor,

“Do you guys want to go to the final dungeon?” Cole asks. Jeremy and Trevor glance at each other.

“I mean, we got a lot of stuff from the other players. Why don’t we just settle down together?” Jeremy asks and Cole throws his hands up in the air.

“We’re done, folks.”

It’s only after everyone’s left and he is cleaning up that he realizes that he still has Trevor’s coat on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that is that.   
> thanks to allonsysouffle, @noahrayne on twitter. they've been tweeting about a certain Dungeons and Dragons series called Table Top Adventures. Check 'em out.  
> What was Trevor doing in the library??? Will Trevor kill Cole??? Will Trevor ever get his coat back??? Tune in next time to find out!!!


	5. small, not straight fry

Jeremy finds Trevor in the library a few days later because of a total coincidence. He definitely was not looking for Trevor, not at all. There is exactly no proof of that and, statistically, a 87% chance that he was looking for Trevor, but ew, statistics.

“Hey, Tree!” Trevor looks up at him, brows creased as he runs his fingers over the pages of his textbook.

“Please don’t call me that.” Jeremy takes a seat next to him, putting down his bag.

“Sure. Is Treyco better? I’m just trying to reciprocate all the weird nicknames I get. You know, like murder mother.” Trevor snorts.

“I’m good with Treyco, Jeremiad.” Jeremy just looks at him.

“Do you seriously just go to your dorm room and read the dictionary? Do you have no life?” Trevor shrugs exaggeratedly. 

“It’s not like I have anything better to do.”

“But why weren’t you in psych today?” Trevor takes a moment to study Jeremy’s face.

“Jeremy… I know that this is going to come as a shock to you, but I think you should know now. Jer, I’m a Liberal Arts major. I have literally never taken a psych class.” Jeremy blinks.

“Well, fuck. Uh, I’m really sorry. I could have sworn…” He groans and leans back in his chair. “God, I’m sorry. Why did you tell me that you were?”

“Didn’t want to be difficult, I guess.” Trevor smiles.l “It’s as much my fault as it is yours. Let’s share the blame, yeah?” He glances down at his watch. “Agh, I’ve got a lecture. I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.” Trevor waves to him as he ducks out of the doors.

Steffie and Cole find Jeremy eventually and drag him, literally drag him, out to lunch with them. Cole points a curly fry at Jeremy, then looks down at it, disappointedly.

“Man, this really only works with the straight fries.” He pops it in his mouth.

“It’s not straight because you’re pointing it at Jeremy.” Steffie explains and Cole looks like the entire universe has been explained.

“I feel like all you do when I’m not around is think up insults to tell me when I am around.” Cole and Steffie exchange glances.

“Yeah, that’s just about it.” Cole admits. “How are things going with Trevor, anyway?”

“Fine.” Jeremy says. “Turns out he’s not actually in my psych class, but…” Cole laughs.

“Even I knew that! You are falling behind here. If you’re not careful, I might snatch him up.” Steffie rolls her eyes.

“What’re you doing for Thanksgiving?” Steffie asks Jeremy.

“Not anything, I don’t think. I’m going home for Christmas, though.”

“You’re going to be so lonely without us.” Cole puts his hand over his heart. “Poor Jeremy.” Jeremy snorts.

“Yeah, sure.” Cole leans forward.

“But wait. What if you and Trevor hung out over Thanksgiving?” 

“Cole, I don’t even know if he’s going to be here. But I’ll ask him. Happy, Steffie?” Steffie nods, a smirk on her face.

“Obviously. It’ll be fun, though. You guys can get fast food and watch movies.”

“Aren’t we getting a little ahead of ourselves here?” Cole shakes his head.

“You’re just falling behind, Jer. All you’re doing is proving my point further.”

“Let’s just eat, okay?”

**Exactly one goat emoji (7:06): hey are you doing anything**

_ You (7:06): No, why? _

**Exactly one goat emoji (7:08): can I come up please?**

**Exactly one goat emoji (7:08): I literally can not be around my roommate right now**

**Exactly one goat emoji (7:09): or anyone**

_ You (7:10): Yeah, man, come on up. _

It’s only a few minutes later when Trevor knocks on the door and Jeremy lets him in.

“I’m really sorry about this.” Trevor says, he’s holding a sketchpad under one arm and is twirling a pencil in the fingers of his other hand.

“It’s all good, Trevor. I just have to watch a movie and write commentary for a class.” Trevor tilts his head.

“What is it?”

“Rocky Horror Picture Show.”

“Never seen it.” They set themselves up on Jeremy’s sofa, Trevor folds himself into the sofa cushions and half watches the movie while sketching.

“That looks like Miles.” Trevor says at one point, sending Jeremy into a bout of uncontrollable laughter. “It really does though.” Jeremy has to pause the movie to catch his breath.

They order pizza soon after that and Trevor looks around, confused.

“Do you have a roommate?” Jeremy nods. “Wait, really?”

“Really. He’s rarely around though and I have no fucking clue why. He’s cool, though.” Jeremy takes a breath. “What are you doing on Thanksgiving?” Trevor blinks.

“Uh, nothing? Staying here, I guess.” Jeremy smiles.

“You want to spend it with me? No use in both of us being alone, yeah?” Trevor smiles back at him.

“Sure. We can check out the old house, yeah? And get food or whatever people actually do on Thanksgiving.”

“Perfect.” At some point, Trevor falls asleep. His pencil drops from his hand and onto the floor and he rests his head against Jeremy’s shoulder. Jeremy falls asleep some time after that.

Jeremy wakes up and Trevor is gone, not so much as an indent on the couch left as an indicator that he was ever there. He looks around and Matt is sitting in the kitchen.

“Was there another guy here when you got here?” Matt shakes his head.

“I literally got here thirty minutes ago.” Jeremy clicks his tongue. “But there’s a thing over here for you.” Jeremy stands, cracking his neck and he walks over to what Matt is looking at. It’s an iced coffee, without ice, and a blueberry muffin. There’s a note next to it that reads “for jeremy <3”. Next to it is a rough sketch of Miles in high heels and fishnets, posing against a counter of some sort and winking. 

Laughter erupts from deep inside his chest and he falls onto the floor, trying desperately to breathe.

“Dude, are you alright?” Jeremy just waves Matt away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more. i've got up to chapter fifteen planned out. you can find me @RunawayCaboose on Twitter  
> comment, please, i love feedback
> 
> Will Jeremy and Trevor ever go rollerskating??? Where is Trevor's favourite place to get a burger??? Why was he annoyed with his roommate??? Tune in next time to find out!!!


	6. Habersmashery

_ You (2:24): Are you busy? _

**Exactly one goat emoji (2:25): god no.**

**Exactly one goat emoji (2:25): you looking to make plans?**

_ You (2:26): I was wondering if we could go skating _

_ You (2:26): Or more like, you skate and I fall on my ass _

**Exactly one goat emoji (2:27): ;)**

**Exactly one goat emoji (2:28) i’m up. three minutes, outside. be there or be square**

_ You (2:28): What if I’m already a square? _

**Exactly one goat emoji (2:29): shut uppp**

**Exactly one goat emoji (2:29): and you’re more like a rhombus**

_ You (2:30): A rhombus? Really? I would have said I’m more like a trapezoid. _

They meet outside in just under four minutes.

“What’s up, trapezoid?” Jeremy groans.

“I didn’t want this to become a thing…” Trevor laughs and Jeremy looks at him. He looks nice, a long, loose shirt and dark skinny jeans. “Will you be able to skate?” Trevor scoffs.

“I’m always able to skate. It’s a super power, I promise you.”

“Oh, is it now?” Trevor nods.

“Skateman!” Jeremy laughs and their steps fall into sync. 

“My car’s near Steffie’s, so we’ve got a few minutes walk.” Trevor clicks his tongue.

“You horrible, horrible, law cheater. How can you live with yourself?”

“I do live with someone else, thank you very much.” 

They get to Steffie’s eventually and clamber into Jeremy’s car. Trevor fishes CD out of the drawstring bag he has slung over one shoulder.

“Should I trust you?” Jeremy asks as Trevor puts in the CD.

“Of course. I’m a trustworthy person.” Trevor presses a few buttons. “It’s just a mix of some of my favourite songs. Turn left here.” He gets the CD to play and Puff the Magic Dragon starts sounding from the speakers.

“I thought I could trust you!” Trevor laughs, but skips to the next song, which is actually good. Jeremy finds himself tapping his fingers against the steering wheel as Trevor guides him to the skating rink.

The girl behind the counter is chewing bubble gum as Trevor rents them both skates. She smiles at Trevor, Jeremy notices, way too widely for someone just being friendly, but Trevor either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

They sit down on the benches and Trevor laces up his skates like a pro, while jeremy is still struggling with tightening them.

“Here.” Trevor rummages around in his bag some more and pulls out a set of knee pads. “Put them on, you’re going to be falling a fair bit.” Jeremy puts them on, trusting Trevor’s guidance.

And Trevor is right. As soon as Jeremy takes his first, wobbly steps onto the hardwood rink floor, he falls forward onto his knees. Trevor helps pull him up.

“God, I’m glad we’re here alone.” Jeremy says. “Now no one can see me fall.” Trevor shrugs, skating in a lazy circle around Jeremy.

“The embarrassment of falling was what pushed me to be better.” Trevor admits, smiling crookedly. “C’mon, you can do this. When you were young, did you have those slippery linoleum floors?” Jeremy nods. “And you used to slide on them in your socks, yeah?” Jeremy nods again. “It’s just like that.” Jeremy nods, encouraged and tries to slide forward, but his legs shoot out from under him and he falls hard.

“Jesus christ.” He says under his breath as he shakily stands again.

“It’s a lot easier if you’re not apprehensive.” Trevor says, coming to a stop in front of Jeremy. “Just think you can do it.” Jeremy snorts, but tries his hardest to believe in himself. And then he falls.

“I’m like a god-damned baby giraffe.” He complains and Trevor laughs.

“But like a baby giraffe, you’ll get it eventually.” He holds out his arm. “Here, hold on.” Jeremy creases his brows, but takes hold of Trevor’s forearm. Slowly, Trevor begins to skate in a large circle. “Move your feet with mine.” He instructs and Jeremy does, not afraid of falling when Trevor is holding him up. Sometime, he’s not sure when, Trevor lets him go and he’s skating on his own. He raises his arms and cheers.

“I’m doing it!” Trevor claps, regaining the lost distance and skating next to him.

“I’m going to do some circuits, okay? You definitely do not have to and probably shouldn’t. Maybe just focusing on going slowly.” Jeremy nods and Trevor takes off.

Trevor seems so at home on the rink, gliding over it like it’s ice. He whips around corners and hunches closer to the ground. He laughs, throwing his head back as he passes Jeremy and halts.

“How are you so good at this?” Jeremy asks and Trevor blushes, rubbing his hair.

“I used to be on a roller derby team.” Jeremy tilts his head.

“Isn’t that usually a thing for girls?” Trevor shrugs. “And there’s all the names. The bad ass names. What was yours?” Trevor rolls his eyes and looks down.

“Habersmashery.” Jeremy cackles and Trevor glares. “Hey! I was like, seven when I came up with that!” There’s the slamming of a door and they both turn to see Meg, Ryan, and two others slide onto the floor.

“Hey, Meg! Ryan!” Jeremy calls, picking his way over to them carefully.

“Hi!” Meg says. “Hi, Trevor! Didn’t expect to see you two here. This is Mariel and Tyler.” The pair waves as much as they can, clinging to each other to keep from falling. Ryan slips and lands heavily. Trevor helps pull him up.

“You okay?” Ryan nods.

“Yeah, I’m good. This is actually a lot harder than it looks.”

“Told you, Rye!” Meg yells, smiling widely. “Take it in stride, baby. You’re good at this, Trevor.” Trevor smiles.

“Thanks, Meg.” Mariel nearly slips and Tyler catches her. “Either of you want some help?” Mariel reaches out towards Trevor.

“Yes, God, please.” Trevor takes her hand carefully and shows her through the motions that he showed Jeremy. She’s skating well while Tyler is slipping everywhere. Mariel does fall and she grabs onto Trevor’s waist. Tyler laughs.

“She’s mine, Trevor, don’t get any ideas.” Trevor rolls his eyes.

“If I was going to get ideas about anyone in that relationship, it would be you.” Tyler laughs and stands up, shakily, from the floor. 

“I’m good, man.” Ryan shouts as he falls again.

“This is nonsense, Meg! Nonsense!” Jeremy laughs from where he’s skating around me.

“You’re just not good.” Meg looks at Trevor. “You’re pretty alright, though. You want to race?” Trevor shrugs.

“Sure.” They set it up quickly, a lap around the rink. They take off, moving in sync, neither able to pull away from the other the whole way around. Meg clicks her tongue when it’s over.

“We’re too good for each other, I guess.” Ryan holds up a hand.

“I know how we can find out who’s better. Which one of you can do a backflip?” Meg squeaks.

“Ryan! Neither of us can do that! We’re not professionals and it’s really dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing.” Trevor straightens himself up, and does a backflip. He lands perfectly, skates meeting the hardwood with a noise like thunder. “Okay, you’re obviously better. I’m sorry.” Ryan laughs.

“It’s good.” Trevor falls into a lazy spin. “I used to do it professionally when I was younger.”

“Do more tricks! Please!” Ryan says, wobbling slightly less more on his skates now. Trevor does a back handspring and Ryan gasps. “You’re a fucking acrobat.”

“You’re going to kill yourself.” Jeremy says, shaking his head. “You want to get some lunch?”

“Sure. See you guys around!” Trevor leads Jeremy off of the rink.

They walk to a diner a few blocks away, furnished with checkered tablecloths and a jukebox.

“This is the best burger I’ve ever had.” Jeremy proclaims when their food comes. Trevor tilts his head.

“Probably the second best for me.” Trevor says. “The best burgers come from this little place in my hometown. It was really pretty, local artist’s art on the walls and old brick. I used to go there after school and they let me draw on the blackboards. It’s too bad can’t go there anymore.” 

“Why not?” Jeremy picks up an onion ring and pops it in his mouth.

“It’s too close to my family.” A heavy silence falls over the table and Jeremy gets the bright idea to change the topic.

“What did you ever do with those broken pots?” Jeremy asks and Trevor smiles.

“A mixed media project. It’s not quite done, but we can go look at it if you want.” Jeremy nods, quickly.

“Oh, fuck yeah.” They finish eating quickly and pay.

Jeremy leaves his car at Steffie’s apartment and they walk to the college at studio. Trevor pulls a key out of his pocket and unlocks the door.

“How did you get that?” Jeremy asks.

“The best behaved kids get them, the professor trusts us.” He pushes the door open, making the guy inside drop his paint brush.

“Jesus, Trevor. I wasn’t expecting you in today.” Trevor smiles, apologetically.

“Sorry, Jordan. Jeremy, this is my roommate, Jordan, this is Jeremy.” Jordan smiles at him.

“‘Sup?” Jordan asks, retrieving his paint brush from where it rolled under a chair.

“Jordan paints in blue scale.” Trevor says, beckoning Jeremy over to look at the boy’s painting. It’s beautiful, a blue forest, a white and blue fox weaving itself between the trees.

“That’s so cool.” Jordan thanks him.

“Here, this is mine.” Jeremy looks at the huge canvas Trevor is pointing at and all the breath escapes from his lungs.

It’s amazing. The painting itself is of a girl, looking over her shoulder. The brush strokes are perfect and precise and the girl herself is very pretty. Her black hair turns into purple and black porcelain and her tears morph into blue china from her eyes, full of emotion that is so hard to capture in a painting..

“It’s called  _ Behind You _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would you look at that  
> you can find me on twitter @RunawayCaboose  
> why does Trevor hate his family??? what is the girl in the painting looking at??? why did Trevor quit roller derby??? tune in next time to find out!!!


	7. thanksgiving adventures and early christmas songs

“You ready, Jabasco Sauce?” Jeremy looks at Trevor, narrowing his eyes.

“That doesn’t work on so many levels.” Trevor shrugs.

“Maybe it works on negative levels.” Trevor shoots finger guns at Jeremy, who just shakes his head.

“That’s not a positive thing, you know.” Jeremy grabs Trevor’s jacket from where it’s slung over the back of a chair and he shrugs it on. He winds his favourite scarf around his neck. “You ready?”

“I’ve been waiting on you.” Trevor flicks Jeremy’s head.

“Rude.” They walk outside into the cool air, nearly rubbing shoulders with each other. They walk for a bit until they get to a mobile coffee stand.

“Hi.” Jeremy offers the tired kid behind the counter a winning smile. “Can we get two large coffees and two scones?” The items are handed over and Trevor takes a tentative sip of coffee.

“Mary, mother of god. This is amazing. Oh my God. This is beautiful.” Jeremy laughs, disrupting the quiet in the streets. It’s Thanksgiving, no one’s out and about but them. They walk past a shop with snowflakes and a cardboard sleigh in the display window.

“It’s so too early for Christmas stuff. It’s Thanksgiving.” Trevor shrugs.

“I don’t know, man, I kind of like it.” Jeremy shakes his head.

“You must be out of your mind.” Trevor scoffs.

“Okay, maybe, but! It’s really fun. Christmas is cool. It’s just like- I don’t even know. It’s just great. 

“But even on Thanksgiving?” Jeremy asks, trying to persuade Trevor into his side of the argument.

“Anytime! A shop can have Christmas decorations out in August and I will love them. Christmas always belongs.” Jeremy snorts.

“Man, that’s just fucking weird. Christmas only belongs from December first to the actual Christmas.” Trevor shakes his head.

“No! You can not restrain Christmas! Christmas will free itself of these bonds!” 

“I can do it if I want to!” Jeremy says and Trevor smirks.

“Deck the halls with boughs of holly.” Trevor sings and Jeremy buries his face in his hands. “Tis the season to be jolly!”

“It’s really not, though.” Trevor is undeterred and keeps singing.

“Don now thy gay apparel.” Jeremy points dramatically at the rainbow scarf wound around his neck and Trevor laughs. “You can not resist this forever, Jeremy! You will sing!”

“Never!” Jeremy protests. “You will not infect me with this disgusting Christmas!” Trevor sticks his tongue out.

“Troll the ancient Christmas carol! C’mon, Jeremy, just sing with me!” Jeremy glares at Trevor. “Please, please, please!”

“ Fa la la la la, la la la la.” Jeremy sings, quickly, and Trevor woops, the noise echoing off the sides of buildings. “God, that was pai-” He gets nailed in the face with a snow ball. He turns to look at Trevor, who is absolutely dying with laughter and trying not to keel over. Jeremy balls up his own snowball and nails Trevor in the face. “Take that!”

“Scum!” Trevor yells. “I won’t go down without a fight! You’ll never take me alive!”

“We’ll see about that!” Jeremy says, tossing another snowball at Trevor, who’s fumbling with his camera case. “Did you bring a camera to a snowball fight?” Trevor throws one at Jeremy with his free hand.

“Art is the deadliest weap- Oh! No!” Jeremy starts to sprint at him with a handful of snow and Trevor takes off away from him. Eventually, they call a truce and they fall back into step beside each other as the buildings beside them fall away and are replaced by trees.

“Under here.” Trevor says, sliding himself under a barbed wire fence and then holding it down for Jeremy. Jeremy nearly gets caught, but doesn’t, and Trevor helps him brush the leaves and snow off of him. “It’s not that far now.” Trevor reassures and they walk farther into the woods.

When Jeremy first sees the mansion, he is speechless. It’s tall and ornate, obviously abandoned, but beautiful. He eventually finds his words and talks to Trevor.

“How do we get in? Just walk through the door?” Trevor smirks.

“Nothing easy is ever fun.” Jeremy shakes his head.

“I really disagree with you there, but okay.” Trevor clicks his tongue.

“Just follow me.” He walks a bit further and swings himself up into a tree.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Jeremy says, but he follows Trevor up.

It’s surprisingly warm inside once Trevor closes the window behind them. Jeremy can easily see why Trevor likes it. It’s pretty, walls a nice peachy-beige, and there is an air of history around the place that even he can pick up on. 

“It’s beautiful.” Trevor grins at him.

They set themselves up in one of the rooms, Jeremy sprawling in a patch of sunlight streaming through the window. He can hear the click click click as Trevor takes pictures and it is so comfortable.

“Talk to me about something.” Jeremy says at one point and the clicks pause for a few moments before resuming.

“Have you ever thought about the fluidity of motion? It’s one of my favourite things and it’s visible in all of nature. It’s the movements of a ballet dancer, careful and controlled. It’s the seeming hectic flight of an insect, but even that is planned, holding a complex algorithm programmed deep inside the bug’s mind.” Trevor goes on, confessing his loves for movement and the beauty in falling leaves. It is an amazing thing to listen to and Jeremy is transfixed.

They do leave eventually, Trevor tucking his camera back into his bag and helping Jeremy up from the floor. Jeremy may or may not slip out of the tree and Trevor may or may not laugh at him.

“We’re still getting Chinese?” Trevor asks and Jeremy nods.

“Of course, man.” They find a small local place, warm steam coating the windows. The woman behind the counter smiles at them as she hands them their food.

“This smells so good.” Trevor says and they practically run to Jeremy’s dorm.

They sit on the sofa and eat Chinese, Trevor using chopsticks and Jeremy using a fork.

“How are you so good at those?” Jeremy asks, and Trevor shrugs, clicking the chopsticks in his direction.

“Practice, man. Also, dexterity.” They put on Mean Girls and share their own little theories about the movie until they fall asleep on each other’s shoulder, warm and happy and perfectly comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's another one  
> <3


	8. buzz buzz

“As you all know, or at least should know by now, tonight is movie night!” Cole says from the auditorium stage. “Okay, okay, no applause, I get it.” One person claps in the back of the room. “No! It’s too late! You had your chance and you didn’t take it. We have here out wonderful movie box.” He holds up a cardboard box labeled MOVIES in big, black letters. He looks inside of it and groans. “You’ve really let me down here, guys. There is literally one suggestion in here.” Cole pulls out the slip of paper and tosses the box somewhere into the seats. “Oh, my God. Oh, God. Oh God, no. The Bee Movie?”

“Yes!” Trevor crows, standing up and punching the air. Cole sniffs at him, disdainfully. 

“Do you have no taste, sir?” Cole asks.

“I have plenty of taste, thank you.” Trevor pulls the case from his bag and pops it into the projector. The opening scene plays and the people clap.

“The Bee Movie gets more applause than I do!” Cole shouts, indignant.

The movie, to Cole’s delight, ends eventually and he gets to take the stage again.

“Trevor whatever your last name is. I fucking hate you. So much.” Cole says and Trevor holds up his hands in an exaggerated shrug. “You’re a horrible person.”

“Hey, Cole! Just a reminder, Trevor can throw knives!” Kerry shouts and Cole blanches visibly.

“What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Great movie choice, Trevor. So great, really. Loved it so much.” Cole gives Trevor a thumbs up. “Keep up the good suggestions!” The throng of students start to disperse in a flurry of movement and Cole jumps of the stage, making his way over to Jeremy, Trevor, and Steffie. 

“You guys want to get food?” Steffie asks. “There’s really great taco truck just off campus.”

“Sure.” Jeremy says and Trevor nods along with him. “Don’t get the fish, Cole.” Steffie laughs and Cole looks down.

“I feel like I’m missing something.” Trevor says, confused.

“Okay, okay, this is a great story.” Steffie says, still grinning. “Little college freshman Cole and Jeremy and I went out to get food from a food truck, yeah? And since Cole’s moms were vegan, he had been too, and he’d never had fish before. He got fish and chips, and, well, he threw up on the sidewalk around the corner.” Jeremy is laughing so hard and Trevor chuckles.

“I don’t eat fish anymore.” Cole says. “And as it turns out, I’m pretty allergic to seafood. That’s pretty much the main reason.” Steffie shakes her head violently, but stops when Cole turns to her. “Steffie, I literally carry around an epipen. I almost died, remember?” Steffie tilts her head.

“I do remember some silence that night.” She says and Cole smacks her arm. 

They do eventually manage to make their way to the truck and place their orders. They find a small bench a little bit away and sit down.

“I haven’t had good tacos in so long.” Trevor says, eyeing his tacos in their little, paper tray.

“Prepare to have the best tacos in your life.” Jeremy says, already halfway done with his. Trevor takes a bite and says something, but it’s muffled behind his mouthful of food.

“That’s so good.” He says after he swallows. “So, so good.”

“So, Trevor.” Cole says, watching Trevor intently. “Are you the bee, or the woman that leaves her fiance for the bee?”

“I’m her fiance.” Trevor says, smiling. “I don’t have a long enough tongue to be a bee.” Steffie gasps and claps her hand to her mouth.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jeremy asks her and she shakes her head in amazement.

“I just realized.” She says. “That shot where they’re both in the bed. The bee has a really long tong-”

“Nope!” Jeremy says, waving his free hand in her face. “I do not need to hear about straight, cross-species sex! No! No, no, no!”

“It wouldn’t really be that straight, would it, though?” Cole asks, thoughtfully. “I’m sure he’d have to bend around some.”

“Agh! Stop it!” Jeremy shouts, gaining some odd looks from a few passerby. “You’re killing me here!”

“Just think gay thoughts, Jeremy!” Trevor encourages, getting even more strange looks. 

“Trevor, literally every thought I have is gay!” Jeremy says and someone walking by chuckles. Trevor stands from the bench and stretches.

“This has been fun, guys, but I’ve got to get back. See you soon, yeah?” Trevor bids them goodnight and walks away. As soon as he’s out of earshot, Cole speaks again.

“Gay thoughts about Trevor, am I right?” Cole ends up with a face full of salad and sour cream smeared above his eyebrows. “Okay, but that was totally worth it.” Jeremy throws a slice of tomato at his face.

**Exactly one goat emoji (12:26): hey are you busy**

_ You (12:26): Not particularly, why? _

**Exactly one goat emoji (12:27): do you want to come down?**

**Exactly one goat emoji (12:27): you don’t have to it’s just**

**Exactly one goat emoji (12:29): i’m sorry i shouldn’t have asked you don’t have to come**

_ You (12:29): Hey, hey, calm down _

_ You (12:29): I’ll be right down _

Jeremy slips on his shoes and pads down the stairs to Trevor’s dorm. He knocks on the door lightly.

“It’s open.” Trevor calls from inside. Jeremy opens the door and sees Trevor curled up on the end of a small sofa, wearing a way too big hoodie and sweatpants. Jordan is sitting in an armchair a foot or two away from it.

“Hey, Jeremy.” Jordan says, looking at him. The whole scene is kind of odd and Jeremy’s not exactly sure what to do, so he just sits down next to Trevor, who shifts his position and leans onto his shoulder. Jeremy pets Trevor’s hair with a light touch. The Great British Bake Off plays in the background. Jordan makes occasion comments, stuff like “Oh, her pastry is going to fall. Well, would you look at that, I was right.” and it makes Trevor chuckle quietly. Eventually, Jordan gets up and disappears into Trevor’s bedroom. He emerges with a sketchbook and pencil and shoves them both into Trevor’s hands.

Trevor seems grateful for something to occupy himself with and he begins drawing almost immediately. It’s mostly little nonsense things, a lizard with wings and a chicken breathing fire, but he also keeps drawing Jeremy’s face and darting little glances at Jeremy.

Trevor falls asleep not long after that and Jeremy is quick to follow.

Jeremy wakes up slowly and he’s confused about where he is, then he sees Trevor. He 

must have shifted in his sleep because now he’s hanging halfway off the sofa.

“Don’t move him.” Jordan says and Jeremy turns. “You’ll wake him up. Do you have a morning class?” Jeremy nods and Jordan holds up a coffee cup. “For you.” Jeremy gets up carefully and takes the coffee.

“Thanks, Jordan.” Jeremy says and Jordan shrugs.

“No big deal.” He looks back at Trevor.

“Is he okay?” Jeremy asks and Jordan looks back at him.

“What? Oh, yeah, he’s alright. He just has bad days sometimes. Thank you for coming 

Down.” Jordan says.

“What type of friend would I be if I didn’t?” Jeremy drinks his coffee quickly. “Tell him I said bye when he gets up, yeah? Thanks again for the coffee.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo, what's up with Trevor though? Comment your guesses if you want.  
> this story is really fun to write and I've set a deadline for finishing it, June 13th.  
> want to go get chimichangas with me? comment!  
> have something you want me to put in this story? comment!  
> have a prompt for me to write? comment!  
> <3


	9. ice is just frozen water

The first thing that greets Jeremy when he wakes up is the blinding light streaming through his window. It must have snowed. The second thing that greets Jeremy is the sound of banging on the door. He jumps out of bed and nearly trips over himself to answer it.

“God, it’s just you.” Jeremy manages to get out as he pulls the door open, seeing Steffie and Cole.

“Is that anyway to greet your best friends?” Steffie asks, indignant.

“Trevor.” Cole reminds her and Steffie clicks her tongue. 

“I don’t think we should bring him along anymore, Cole.” Steffie says and Jeremy just shakes his head. They’ll take him.

“You’re forgetting that he’s our best friend, too.” Cole stage whispers.

“Jer, you want to come chill in the snow with us?” Steffie asks. Jeremy was so right.

“Sure. Just let me put on actual clothes and get Matt.” He steps backward and looks at the two of them. “You realize that you can come in, right?” Steffie and Cole exchange glances before stepping in.

Jeremy wakes Matt up and gets dressed, putting on clothes slightly warmer than what he normally wears. He shrugs Trevor’s coat on after that.

“Is- Is that Trevor’s coat?” Cole asks.

“I’ve been trying to return it, I swear. But it’s warm and he’s kind of been ignoring it…?” Jeremy says, half explaining, half questioning his story and if it sounds believable. Apparently, it doesn’t because Cole just snorts. 

“You should invite Trevor and his roommate.” Steffie says, wrapping an arm around Cole. “We’ll meet you on the outside, yeah?”

“Aye, aye.” Jeremy salutes and goes the opposite way to get to Trevor’s room.

He knocks and Trevor opens the door, looking much, much too put together for 8:30 in the morning.

“Hey, Jeremy.” Trevor smiles.

“Hey, Trevor.” Jeremy says and they stand there awkwardly for a few moments.

“So, it snowed.” Trevor says, finally, and Jeremy nods.

“Yes! I actually wanted to invite you out with Steffie, Cole, Matt, and I. I think they’re all planning a snowball fight. Jordan too, if he wants.” Jeremy says.

“I’m in!” Jordan calls from the inside and then he has appeared beside Trevor, holding two heavy coats. “Let’s go throw spheres of frozen water at each other because we are all adults here.”

“Totally.” Trevor agrees, taking one of the coats.

The quad is very pretty, stark white and snow covered, and very empty, save the three already out there.

“I want you, Trevor!” Steffie says. “Jeremy, you can take Matt! Cole, with me.” They switch teammates quickly and stare at each other for about ten seconds. “Go!”

Jordan instantly starts building a wall, somehow getting the snow to stay solid enough for him to make bricks and stack them together. It isn’t going very well on Matt and Jeremy’s end, though, because the snow really is very powdery. 

“This is not going to end well.” Matt confides to Jeremy and Jeremy laughs, dropping the powder he has in his hands.

Snowballs start flying soon after that, but not really. They kind of deteriorate in mid air and both teams have to resort to more close range tactics. They meet in the middle of the field and throw armfuls of snow at each other. Jeremy somehow manages to get a few snowballs to stick together and he nails Trevor in the head. In the blink of an eye, Trevor has tackled Jeremy into the snow and is holding him there.

“It’s so cold!” Jeremy shouts, pushing his hands into Trevor’s face.

“Jeremy, it’s fucking snow!” Trevor shouts back. They both start laughing and Trevor rolls off of Jeremy into the snow beside him.

Not long after that, the fighting ceases. Cole’s hair is clumped together and matted with snowflakes and Jordan lost his hat somewhere on the fray and it ended up on Steffie’s head. Jordan comes up with the bright, bright idea that they all get coffee, so six very cold, snow-covered college kids pile into the closest off campus cafe that they can find.

They all get coffee, except for Trevor, who gets a hot chocolate and immediately starts adding things to it.

“Watch.” Jordan whispers to them, so they all watch as Trevor very, very meticulously adds vanilla powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg. They don’t look away fast enough when he turns around, so they’re all just staring at each other across the room for a few seconds.

There are trivia cards on the table that they’re all crammed around and they start playing.

“What’s the little thing above the letter i called?” Cole reads off.

“The tittle.” Jeremy answers instantly. Cole nods.

“Jeremy, how the heck do you know that?” Steffie asks and Jeremy shrugs.

“I just know random facts.” Jeremy says. The game quickly devolves from actually trivia to just asking all the questions to Jeremy. 

“What book uses less than fifty words?” Matt asks. Jeremy hold up his hand.

“Green Eggs and Ham?” Jeremy says, unsure, but Matt nods.

“What don’t you know?” Jordan complains before reading off of his card. “What were Q-Tips originally called?”

“That’s so easy. It was literally my nickname in high school.” Jeremy says. “Baby Gays.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.” Cole says.

“I’m really not.” Jeremy shakes his head. 

“How was Curious George caught?” Steffie asks and Jeremy snaps his fingers.

“He was caught in the guy’s yellow hat.” Jeremy answers. Trevor claps, quietly.

“Behold, people. Jeremy Dooley, he knows the most about tittles, children's’ books, and gay children. We are blessed in his presence.” Trevor says and Jeremy rolls his eyes. “What a loser.”

“At least I’m a loser that wins at trivia!” Jeremy protests and Trevor fake gags before checking his watch.

“You ready, Jordan?” Trevor asks and Jordan stands. “Jordan and I are gonna go to the art studio, so we’ll see you all later.” As soon as they’re gone, Steffi, Cole, and Matt turn to look at Jeremy.

“Okay, but you actually like him.” Matt says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy that is another one.  
> have questions? comment!  
> have prompts for me to write? comment!


	10. snow skies

There is a knock on Jeremy’s door and Jeremy pauses mid step to stare at it. The knock sounds again.

“I could die.” Jeremy murmurs. “If I open that door. Matt isn’t here. Nobody would know. I would just be dead.” The knock comes again and Jeremy sighs. “Welp. Here goes my death. Sayonara, world.” He takes a breath and opens the door. He lets out the formerly taken breath when he sees that it’s Trevor. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Sound excited, don’t you?” Trevor asks.

“Man, you totally could have been a murderer.” Jeremy shakes his head and Trevor narrows his eyes.

“Maybe I am.” Trevor says, voice flat, and they stare at each other for a few moments. 

“Dude, you could be.” Jeremy whispers. Trevor laughs, breaking the odd silence.

“No, I’m not. Not yet, anyways. I just wanted to know if you’d take me to your place in the park. Seems like a nice day for it.” Trevor says and waits as Jeremy is quiet. “I mean, we don’t have to-”

“No! No!” Jeremy protests, suddenly coming back to reality. “I was just thinking, you could totally be a murderer. You have the look.”

“The look? What look?” Trevor asks, amused.

“Kid that was bullied in high school, lone wolf, anger problems look.” Jeremy says.

“You… You said that really quickly. I kind of expected you to think about it.” Trevor chuckles. “I guess I do fit that description, then.”

“Yes.” Jeremy nods. “But I’ll totally take you to my spot. Do you have your camera?” Trevor holds it up.

“I literally always have it.” Trevor says. “But are you sure you’re comfortable being alone in the woods with me? The aloof murder type?”

“Dude, it’ll be fine.” Jeremy reassures. “Plus, if you kill me, process of elimination through my other friends, you’re the only candidate.”

“How much do you fucking think about me killing you?” Trevor asks.

“It’s that kind of day.” Jeremy answers, pulling on his shoes. “Let’s go.”

The weather is nearly perfect, the sky a clear blue with a cool breeze and the temperature perfectly balmy.

“But how would you kill me, though?” Jeremy asks Trevor. “You know, if you had to.” Trevor looks at him. 

“Uh. I guess I’d wait until you’re at a party, right? Or a crowded bar or somewhere public. Get you drunk, as you do. I’d get you to tell your friends that you were leaving. They would have no idea that I was there. Offer to take you home, drive around, kill you under a bridge, body in the river.” Trevor snaps. “Murder complete.” Jeremy nods.

“Nice.” He compliments. “Only one problem with you plan, though.”

“What is it?” Trevor tilts his head.

“I never go anywhere in public. I literally hate people.” Jeremy says and Trevor laughs. “The park is right up here.” As Jeremy says the words, a blur of brown and white dashes from the park entrance. Trevor lunges quickly and tackles the dog, wrapping it in his arms and picking it up. It tries to lick his face, slobber dripping everywhere. A person, presumably the dog’s owner, runs up.

“Christ, thank you.” He says, clipping the leash on the dog’s collar. “Sorry about that. Squid has never done anything like that before.”

“Why’d she run?” Jeremy asks, leaning down to pet Squid.

“Well.” The man rubs the back of his head, embarrassed. “I was trying to teach her how to play frisbee. I think that she might not like it.”

“I’m sorry.” Trevor says. “Did you say that your dog’s name was Squid?”

“I did.” The man nods. “And thanks for catching her, again. We’re actually going to head off, now. Not going to let her have another chance to flee. See you, yeah?” The two watch the man and his dog jog away.

“Wow.” Jeremy remarks. “Squid. Interesting name.”

“Very.” Trevor agrees. “Now. Lead me to your place!”

Jeremy takes Trevor into the park and they walk for a few minutes before entering a large copse of trees. Jeremy weaves between them, ducking under brambles and low-hanging branches. A few minutes in, he stops Trevor and holds a finger up to his mouth.

“Look.” Jeremy whispers, pointing upwards. Trevor looks up to see what Jeremy is pointing at. It’s a bird’s nest, delicately woven, and there are a few small, fuzzy fledglings inside it.

“They’re a bit off timewise, right?” Trevor asks and Jeremy nods.

“But look.” Jeremy murmurs. One of the small birds flings itself from the nest and flaps its wings wildly as it falls, only slowing its descent a little, but it bounces in the leaf litter. Jeremy tugs on Trevor’s sleeve. “Let’s go.”

They reach a ring of holly trees not long after that. 

“Under here.” Jeremy instructs, crawling through a small tunnel of spiky leaves.

“Not everyone is small, Jeremy.” Trevor groans, pulling himself through after Jeremy. 

“I am literally wider than you.” Jeremy shaked his head. “I have muscle. You have… Nothing?”

“I have a murder’s physique, apparently.” Trevor corrects and Jeremy snorts.

“Yeah, you do.” Jeremy blinks. “Is this turning out like our skit in the theatre club?”

“Possibly.” Trevor admits. “But Cole isn’t with us.” Jeremy nods.

“That is true. And I bet this won’t end in weird sex.” Jeremy says. Trevor laughs.

“Plus, it’s neither dark or creepy.” Trevor says.

He is right, Jeremy’s clearing is beautiful. There is a small spring burbling up from between a pile of rocks and trickling downwards into a smallish pond. The pond is still, not a single ripple on its surface, reflecting the blue, blue sky above. The snow glistens around the water’s edge, framing it in melting beauty. Trevor’s camera shutter is click, click, clicking.

“Look.” Jeremy murmurs and Trevor looks to the other side of the pond. There is a fox, sleek and agile, padding carefully through the snow. It bends its head down to the water and its tongue darts out, lapping it up. Trevor takes pictures, but is careful not to move too much. The fox looks up and both Jeremy and Trevor freeze. It stares at them, unblinking, and it seems to be seeing right through their skin and into their souls. The fox does not move towards them, instead licks its lips and begins posing. It stretches, arching its back and showing off its teeth. Trevor snaps more and more pictures and Jeremy just stands in awe. The fox smiles, if a fox can, and it bounds off, kicking up sprays of snow behind it.

“Wow.” Trevor whispers. It feels wrong to speak at a normal volume in the serenity of this space. “Fucking wow.”

“That was amazing.” Jeremy breathes, eyes fixed on where the fox disappeared, as if it will come back.

“I got so many cool pictures.” Trevor says. “This is… This place is magical.”

“There’s an energy here.” Jeremy agrees. “And I’m not trying to sound like a hippie or anything, I don’t know. The first time I found this place, I felt like I’d already been here or I knew about this place.”

“Me too.” Trevor murmurs.

They leave the clearing not long after that and stop in at a nearby cafe to get coffee.

“They have an open chalkboard.” Jeremy pushes Trevor lightly. “Go put that art degree to use.”

“I don’t have it yet.” Trevor protests, but he picks up a piece of chalk, gingerly. He begins to sketch an outline and fills it in with a rainbow array of colours.

“What have you done, Trevor?” Jeremy questions when Trevor finally sets the chalk down.

“It’s a psychedelic goat.” Trevor supplies and it is indeed, whorls of colours, throbbing and unfurling.

“I can see that.” Jeremy laughs.

“You could say that it’s exactly one goat.” Trevor smirks and Jeremy rolls his eyes. Trevor erases the goat in a small puff of chalk dust. He draws a rough, simple picture of him and Jeremy, laughing and holding coffee cups. 

“I look beautiful.” Jeremy compliments and Trevor snorts. He wipes his hands on his jeans and sits down at the table across from Jeremy.

“Sure you do.” Trevor says. “Like snow on Christmas.”

“Do you really like Christmas that much?” Jeremy asks.

“Of course.” Trevor nods. “It’s great.”

“Are you going to go home for it?” Jeremy questions. Trevor’s face darkens.

“No.” He says, quickly. “My family and I, we aren’t on stellar terms. We aren’t even on terms, really.”

“Oh.” Jeremy says, quietly, looking down at his coffee cup. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Trevor shrugs. “It’s not your fault.”

“Do you want to come home with me for Christmas?” Jeremy asks, suddenly.

“You don’t have to do to that just because you feel bad for me.” Trevor reassures.

“It’s not because of that.” Jeremy shakes his head. “You like Christmas. My family Christmases are pretty amazing. I want you to come and experience it for yourself.” Trevor smiles.

“Then, Jeremy, I would be honoured to attend your Christmas.” Trevor says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay on this one, i've had a bit of a writer's block. gone now though, i hope! more chapters soon, I promise!  
> <3


	11. grey beaches

It is six a.m. on the first day of Christmas break and Jeremy is banging on Trevor’s door. There is shuffling and muffled curses on the inside before Trevor pulls open the door.

“What the fuck do you want?” Trevor mumbles, running a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. “It’s too early for anything.”

“Pfff, no.” Jeremy protests. “Get dressed. We’re going somewhere.”

“Where?” Trevor asks and Jeremy shakes his head. 

“It’s a surprise! Bring your camera, though.” Jeremy smiles and then the door is shut in his face. He raises his hand, unsure whether or not to knock again, before letting it drop back down against his side. Jeremy stands outside of Trevor’s door for three minutes before Trevor opens it again, now fully dressed.

“This had better be good.” Trevor warns. “Or they may never find your body.”

“Consider me scared.” Jeremy chuckles and they walk to Jeremy’s car together.

“I get music.” Trevor proclaims once they’re both strapped in. He finds a local indie station and nods, letting the dial rest there.

“Do you want breakfast?” Jeremy asks. “We can like, get a bagel or something.”

“I’m down with that.” Trevor says. They get bagels as soon as they can.

“Trevor.” Jeremy sighs. “You have cream cheese literally all over your face. How did you even manage that?”

“Don’t ask me!” Trevor says, indignantly. “You’re the one that gave me cream cheese! But really, Jeremy, where the hell are we going?”

“I told you! It’s a surprise.” Jeremy smirks and Trevor groans.

“Okay, okay, let me guess. A creepy forest where you can murder me and no one will ever know?” Trevor asks, narrowing his eyes. “Because I could totally see that happening.”

“God, no.” Jeremy laughs. “That’s not even remotely close.

“A funeral home?” Trevor guesses. “A wax museum? God, I hate those. They’re freaky.”

“They are freaky.” Jeremy agrees. “But no and no.”

“I hate you, you know that?” Trevor shakes his head. “Making me get up at an ungodly hour for a surprise.”

“Hey!” Jeremy protests. “Surprises are cool! And it was literally six! That is not that early!”

“Sure it’s not.” Trevor snorts.

“It takes us a while to get to this place.” Jeremy explains. “That’s why we needed to leave early.”

Trevor continues to guess very, very wrong destinations during the four hour drive.

“We’re here.” Jeremy says, poking Trevor to wake him up.

“Huh?” Trevor groans out, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Oh! Yes!” He fumbles with the lock on the car door and jumps out. “Woah.”

They are parked on the top of a sand dune, overlooking the grey blue ocean capped with white lapping at the shoreline. Trevor takes a picture quickly. 

“Is this worth getting up?” Jeremy asks, smiling. Trevor nods, quickly.

“Yeah!” Trevor takes another picture. “This is so cool. Thanks, Jeremy.”

“Any time.” Jeremy says. 

“Here, here, come stand by the waves.” Trevor instructs. “I want to take pictures of you.”

Trevor takes picture after picture of Jeremy, ruddy cheeked from the cold wind and smiling widely. 

They sit on the sand together after a while, grey sky hung above them and shoes holding their socks beside them.

“Trevor, I really like you.” Jeremy says, keeping his eyes fixed on the waves crashing in the surf. He doesn’t dare look at Trevor until Trevor makes a choked noise and he glances over. Trevor is crying, tears trailing down his cheeks and dotting the sand like raindrops. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Trevor just shakes his head. “Do you need me to do something? Do you need me to leave? I mean, I will, but I’m kind of your ride, so you’ll have to come with me.” Jeremy is caught in between wanting to comfort Trevor and wanting to leave him alone.

“No, no, fuck.” Trevor scrubs at his eyes with the heel of his palm. “Fuck, Jeremy. I like you too, you’re an incredible person. But you don’t want me.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one to decide that?” Jeremy asks and Trevor shakes his head again. 

“Not when I’m me.” Trevor takes a shaky breath. “I’m not good at anything like this. I don’t- I don’t even like sex.”

“I don’t either.” Jeremy says. “It’s just-no.” Trevor nods.

“But you’re not- Jeremy. Jeremy, I’m trans.” Trevor says, looking down at his dark jeans. “I’m fucking broken. You don’t want to be with me.” Something inside Jeremy snaps and he wants to go out and kill anyone who has ever told Trevor that he is broken.

“Trevor, that doesn’t matter to me.” Jeremy says. “You’re trans, so what? You’re Trevor! You’re the Trevor that beat up the car and looks like a murderer. It doesn’t make any difference.” Trevor shakes his head again.

“Jeremy…” Trevor trails off. “Jeremy, have you ever dated a trans guy before?”

“No, but I will.” Jeremy says. “I’ll do it gladly.”

“It does make a difference.” Trevor bites his lip. “It’s- It’s different. It’s not just something that you can ignore. Look, okay, I’ll make you a deal. Do some research about the whole trans thing, and then if you’re still interested, we can go out.”

“Of course.” Jeremy says. “Of course I’ll do that.”

They sit on the beach in silence for a while.

“Can we go home?” Trevor asks, voice quiet. They get back into Jeremy’s car and start the long drive back. ‘I’m really sorry for ruining the surprise.”

“Don’t be.” Jeremy says. “You’re done nothing wrong, man. Nothing at all.”

“But I am sorry,” Trevor says. “I’m weird about the dating thing, you don’t- you don’t have to do the research.”

“I was going to anyway.” Jeremy glances over at Trevor who has curled himself into a ball. “Don’t apologize for that. It was a good thing to say.”

“But I’m sorry.” Trevor says again and Jeremy shakes his head.

“I will not accept your apology.” Jeremy proclaims. “I refuse.” Trevor chuckles.

“Can’t really argue with that now, can I?” Trevor asks.

“God, I hope not.” Jeremy laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't think anyone actually guessed what was up with Trevor. well. it's up now, so  
> dude, what do you think is going to happen now?


	12. small fairy

There was complete radio silence from Trevor for the next for days and Jeremy doesn’t want to invade Trevor’s space, but he is really getting worried. His phone chirps and he lunges for it, nearly knocking it off the coffee table.

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:07): hey, am i still invited to your christmas? like, i understand if i’m not, it’s fine, i just wanted to ask.**

_ You (6:07): Man, of course. _

_ You (6:07): I offered, it would be really shitty to take it back now _

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:08): thank you. i just wanted to make sure that nothing had changed**

_ You (6:08): Of course not. I’ll pick you up in the morning, front campus. _

**Exactly one goat emoji (6:09): six thirty good?**

_ You (6:09): Perfect _

**Exactly on goat emoji (6:10): thank you.**

Jeremy can see Trevor when he drives up. Trevor looks tired, hair ruffled, but he’s smiling at Jeremy. And then he trips, nearly dropping the duffel bag over his shoulder. Jeremy laughs and rolls down the windows.

“Get in, loser.” Jeremy orders and Trevor just rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, dork.” Trevor slides in the passenger seat, awkwardly arranging his long legs. “God, short people cars will be the death of me.”

“I will literally leave you on the side of the road.” Jeremy threatens.

“Nah.” Trevor closes his eyes. “You’re family is too excited to meet me.”

“How the fuck did you know that?” Jeremy asks and Trevor opens his eyes again.

“Wait, really? That was just a random guess.” Trevor looks flustered. “What stories have you told them? What expectations do I have to live up to?”

“Woah, chill, dude.” Jeremy says, glancing over at Trevor. “There are no expectations, none at all. You just have to be Trevor.”

“Considering I’ve inhabited this body for a few years and no one has called me out on being an alien, I think I’ll do okay.” Trevor chuckles. “Take me to your leader!”

“Why else would I be taking you to my mom?” Jeremy asks. 

“So I can replace you as her favourite.” Trevor says, quickly. 

“You fucking worry me.” Jeremy shakes his head. “You realize that I don’t have enough money to bail you out of jail, right?”

“I have my connections.” Trevor smiles. “I know a lot more people than you give me credit for.”

“You’re just planning on calling Steffie, aren’t you?” Jeremy smirks and Trevor scoffs.

“No! I have more connections.” Trevor defends himself. “But Steffie is the closest connection I have.”

And the car ride isn’t really that awkward. It’s not really very awkward, but it’s still awkward and the tension hangs in the car like a tangible thing.

“Tell me a story.” Jeremy says after a bout of silence the he thinks has continued for so long.

“Oh, God, I’ve got a few.” Trevor chuckles. “Okay, so you know how I told you I was on a roller derby team?” Jeremy nods. “Well, you were right, it is a primarily female sport and I was part of it when I was about, let’s say eight to fifteen.”

“Fucking pro.” Jeremy teases and Trevor nods.

“I was the fucking jammer, man. I broke a bitch’s arm once, though.” Trevor laughs.

“What the fuck did a little girl do to you?” Jeremy asks. 

“She beat me up in the parking lot.” Trevor answers. “She thought I was hitting on her and I was like fuck, no.”

“Oh my god.” Jeremy laughs. “You were in all the drama.”

“Just about.” Trevor nods. “But let’s go back. There I am, fifteen, and pretty much sure that I’m not a girl. So, I decided to tell someone who I really, really trusted. This person was my roller derby coach. It was, uh, after a practice and I had bruised my knuckles on the floor and I walked into her office. She asked me what was wrong, and I just kind of blurted it out. She just looked at me for a long time before saying ‘I’m really sorry, but I have to kick you off the team’. And I was really freaked out and I thought she hated me and I asked why. She said ‘Because this is an all female team, honey. You can’t be on it anymore, you don’t qualify’. That was the best fucking day of my life.”

“That’s really… Fuck, man. Did you still get to skate, though?” Jeremy asks.

“Yeah, she knew that it was my escape, pretty much. I became her assistant coach.” Trevor smiles. “And that girl who thought I was hitting on her when we were thirteen, she asked me out. I knew I was gay, but I said yeah, because I didn’t want to be rude. And then I started crying on our first date.” Trevor groans. “Those are some memories, right there. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her everything, me being trans and gay, and I wasn’t really out at all, so it was a big deal for me. She asked my why I agreed to go out, then, and I said that it was because I didn’t want to hurt her. She then said, and I quote ‘Bitch, you fucking broke my arm. You don’t think I can handle being turned down?’. And then she became my best friend for the rest of my teenage years. She helped me pick out my name, Trevor.”

“Are you still in contact with her?” Jeremy questions and Trevor nods. 

“Yeah, she and I text all the time, but she stayed closer to our home state. In our home state. I’ve got to get her down here to visit, I haven’t seen her in months. Your turn now, though. Tell me a story.”

“Okay, so I got into theatre first year of high school.” Jeremy begins. “I played the lead in the musical in my third year. I have no idea what the musical was, it was written by a senior, I think, but I had to get in the flying rig. I might have been a fairy.”

“Aw, small Jeremy the fairy.” Trevor coos.

“You don’t fucking know how many times I heard that.” Jeremy shakes his head. “But it was during the last number, right? I was in the flying rig and something went fucking wrong. I fell on the stage, like straight down. I broke my leg. It didn’t really hurt though and everyone was kind of like ‘Oh no’, but I finished the last song. And then it really started to hurt and I passed out during the bows and had to be taken to the emergency room.”

“You were fucking hardcore.” Trevor says. “What happened to that?”

“Hey!” Jeremy protests. “I’m hardcore as fuck!”

Trevor is asleep not long after that, cheek pressed against the window, and Jeremy kind of admires his ability to fall asleep anywhere. Trevor makes a small noise, shifting in his sleep and bringing his legs closer to his body, folding himself into too small of a shape for someone as tall as he is. And Jeremy thinks that he would be completely willing to wake up next to this. He would love it, he’s sure of it.

They get to Jeremy’s old house pretty late in the night, and they’re both dead on their feet.

“How the fuck are you tired?” Jeremy asks Trevor. “You literally slept for two hours in the car.”

“That’s nothing.” Trevor groans, stretching. “One time I fell asleep on my skates.”

“You are going to tell me that story.” Jeremy says. “But not right now.” He opens the door to his parents’ house. “Hey! I’m here!”

“Jeremy!” A woman comes running through the house and wraps her arms around Jeremy. “Welcome home!” She steps back from him. “Ah, you must be Trevor.”

“I am.” Trevor smiles.

“Well, Martin is asleep, but you can meet him in the morning!” She smiles. “Your room is just at the top of the stairs, it’s Jeremy’s old room and I put the fold out in there.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Jeremy says. “We’ll catch up in the morning, yeah?” He leads Trevor to the room. Trevor looks around at all the band posters on the walls.

“I’m so going to fucking tease you about this in the morning.” Trevor says, before promptly falling asleep on the fold out, fully clothed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would you look at that? more family interaction next time!  
> do you have any guesses on who Trevor's old friend is? She will come back, I promise, it wasn't just filler. She will become a real character.  
> have something you would like to see in the story? comment!  
> have compliments about the story? comment!  
> have a prompt for me to write? comment!


	13. cold air

Jeremy wakes up feeling oddly young, but that might just be because he’s back in his old bedroom. Without Trevor. Trevor is gone, only ruffled blankets left in his place. He slips out of his bedroom and makes his way down the stairs. There is laughter coming from the kitchen and that’s where Jeremy heads to.

“Good morning, Jeremy!” His mother says, waving a spatula at him. “Trevor offered to help me make pancakes.”

“Leslie did most of it.” Trevor shrugs. “I’ve done nothing productive here but make coffee.”

“Oh, nonsense!” Leslie waves a hand at Trevor. “He’s been such a big help. You better look out, Jer, otherwise he might become my favourite.”

“Eh, he’s my favourite, too.” Jeremy shrugs, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“He’s so great.” Leslie gushes. “Did you know that he can make pie? Pie is hard to make! And he’s an artist! And so sweet!” There is a blush rising high on Trevor’s cheeks.

“It’s not that great.” Trevor shakes his head.

“So, Trevor, has Jeremy ever told you the story of his first girlfriend?” Leslie asks, a glint in her eyes. Jeremy groans.

“I don’t believe so.” Trevor smirks.

“So, eighth grade. He goes out with this girl, right? And it’s okay, she seemed nice and everything, and then Jeremy stops walking down the sidewalk with her a few feet away from the house and says ‘Sorry, I can’t do this. I’m gay’.” Leslie laughs. “He knew what he wanted.”

“That’s not the worst first date story.” Trevor clicks his tongue. “I mean, I cried when I went out with this girl. But Jeremy knows that story.” The front door opens with a slam.

“Bitches, I’m here!” A short girl walks into the kitchen, obviously Jeremy’s sister.

“Watch your mouth around company, Ashley!” Leslie reprimands. Ashley rolls her eyes.

“I’m sure if he hangs out with Jeremy, he’s heard it before.” Ashley sticks out her hand. “I’m Ashley.”

“Trevor.” Trevor answers, shaking her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“And you. How’s it going, little bro?” Ashley pulls Jeremy into a hug. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hello, Ashley.” Leslie rolls her eyes. 

“Where’s Bird?” Ashley asks, looking around. “Normally he’d be eating everything in here.”

“Well, I didn’t know if Trevor was allergic to dogs or not, so I put him in your dad’s and my room.” Leslie explains.

“I’m not allergic to dogs!” Trevor says, quickly. “Well, I mean, I am, but not deathly allergic! Besides, I love dogs, he won’t kill me. Hopefully.”

“I’m gonna go get him.” Ashley dashes off and returns carrying a dog that’s way too big to be carried. “Look at him!”

“Jesus, he’s so cute.” Trevor scratches Bird behind his ears as Bird tries to lick his face off. “Please don’t kill me.” Bird yips.

“He says no promises.” Jeremy translates. “You want to take him outside with me?”

“Oh, heckity yes.” Trevor nods.

It is snowing outside, dusting the landscape in white flakes. Untouched until Bird rockets into it, spraying snow up with every leap and bound. 

“Can I like, tackle him?” Trevor asks, rubbing his hand together.

“I mean, sure. Go for it.” Jeremy says and Trevor sprints after Bird. Bird turns around, barks, and runs even faster. Trevor lunges, sliding and scooping Bird into his arms before dumping teh dog back into the snow.

“I got you!” Trevor crows, rubbing Bird’s belly.

“Here!” Jeremy shouts, tossing Trevor one of Bird’s tennis balls. Trevor catches it, deftly, and starts throwing it for Bird.

They’re in the snow for a long time, long after it’s stopped snowing and Jeremy can not feel his hands anymore. One of Trevor’s stray throws rolls to a stop at Jeremy’s feet, Bird bounding quickly after it.

“Got it!” Jeremy yells to Trevor, who is actually a good distance away. When he got there, Jeremy doesn’t know. Jeremy throws it and Bird takes off after the flying ball. Trevor catches it, but then Bird is jumping and his paws connect solidly with Trevor’s ribs. Trevor falls backwards into the snow and Jeremy jogs over to him quickly. Trevor is still on the ground, wheezing and wrapping both his arms around his ribcage. “Fuck, man, are you okay?” Trevor nods quickly.

“I’m fine. Just- fuckin’ knocked my breath out.” Trevor shakes his head and struggles to take a breath. “I’m fine. Just the- the binder and the cold air, it makes it hard to breathe.”

“Oh, fuck, I didn’t think about that.” Jeremy criticizes himself. “Do you need a hand up?” Trevor nods, gratefully, and Jeremy helps pull him up. Trevor groans.

“Sorry, that hasn’t happened in a while.” Trevor apologizes. “I used to have asthma, and it’s not that bad now, but the whole tightness and falling and everything.”

“There’s no need to apologize.” Jeremy says. “Let’s just go inside, yeah?”

Trevor spends the rest of the afternoon making dinner after shooing Leslie out of the kitchen. Jeremy may or may not watch him do it.

“This is so good!” Leslie says. Trevor smiles and looks down. 

“It’s just pork and some herbs.” Trevor’s cheeks are turning a sweet rose colour.

“So, boys, how’s college?” Jeremy’s dad asks, setting down his utensils with a clink.

“Great question, Martin.” Leslie says, and Trevor is unable to tell if she’s being sarcastic or not.

“It’s good.” Jeremy nods. “Trevor’s an art major.”

They talk more about college for a while and somehow Jeremy brings up that Trevor can throw knives.

“Really?” Leslie leans forward. “I want to see. Throw a knife.” Trevor laughs.

“Uh, okay.” Trevor gathers up the few knives spread across the table. “What do I stab?”

“Put a face in that pumpkin.” Ashley suggests.

“I can try.” Trevor promises. And try he does, because there are knives in the shape if a face embedded in the pumpkin a few minutes later.

“Fucking teach me.” Leslie demands.

“Company!” Ashley reminds, sarcastically. Leslie just clicks her tongue. Trevor pulls one of the knives from the pumpkins and hands it to her.

“Hold it like this.” Trevor positions the knife in her hand. “Look at something, focus on it, and just throw it in one motion.” Leslie takes a breath and throws the knife as hard as she can. It ricochets off one of the walls and clatters onto the floor.

“Okay, maybe let’s not?” Trevor suggests, picking up the knife carefully.

They ice cookies after that.

“It’s a family tradition.” Martin explains at the beginning. “Though none of us are that good, it’s still fun.” They all grab a cookie and start icing.

“What the hell, Trevor?” Ashley grumbles, peering down at Trevor’s cookie. “Stop being good at this.”

“Don’t tell an art major to do art.” Trevor shrugs. “Sorry.”

“Is that- Is that a moon?” Martin asks and Trevor nods. “That is astonishingly good.” Trevor smiles, widely.

“Thank you.” Trevor looks over at Jeremy, who has managed to get icing all over his hands. “What are you doing?”

“Uh, I’m not quite sure.” Jeremy bites his lip and looks perplexed.

Jeremy ends up receiving a cookie with a bloody knife drawn in icing from Trevor, and Trevor gets one from Jeremy that bears a wobbly goat. 

The pair end up sitting on the porch steps not too long after that, their breaths and steam from their hot chocolate curling into the air. 

“I, uh, I did do it.” Jeremy says, keeping his gaze fixed upwards at the bright stars. “I did research it, like you asked me to.”

“Yeah?” Trevor asks, almost too quietly to be heard. “And?”

“And it doesn’t change anything.” Jeremy bites his lip. “I still want to go out with you.” He looks at Trevor, who’s eyes are wide.

“Okay.” Trevor’s voice is still soft and their faces are so close. 

“Can I kiss you?” Jeremy murmurs and Trevor nods, so Jeremy kisses him. When they break apart, Trevor laughs.

“And this is all thanks to your mom, obviously making sure that I knew you were gay.” Trevor smirks.

“Hey, my mom is the best!” Jeremy protests. Trevor shakes his head, minutely.

“I never said that she wasn’t. Wait. Oh, fuck.” Trevor rubs at his eyes.

“What?” Jeremy asks, suddenly worried.

“Cole is going to be so fucking mad.” Trevor grins and then they are both laughing in the cold air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy these nerds have gotten their lives together. but will they be able to keep it together?   
> and what do you think Cole will say when he finds out?  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	14. it's a bit chile here

“Wake the fuck up, losers!” Ashley yells, banging on the bedroom door. “It’s fucking Christmas!”

“Don’t fuck Christmas!” Trevor yells back instantly, still able to make amazing jokes through a sleep haze.

“I’ll fuck whoever I want!” Ashley shouts. Trevor laughs and falls off of the fold out.. “But hurry the fuck up, we’ve got things to do!”

“Ashley, leave us alone!” Jeremy says through the blankets.

“Why?” She shoots back. “Are you two fuckin’ Christmas in there? Is that what that noise was?”

“That was me falling off the bed!” Trevor shouts between bouts of laughter. “You have killed me!”

“Well, that’s one less person to wake up, I guess.” Ashley says.

“In case you couldn’t tell,” Jeremy sits up, groaning. “She really loves Christmas.”

“Fuck yes, I do!” Ashley yells. “Now hurry the fuck up!”

It’s three minutes until they have all assembled downstairs and Ashley is shaking her head at Jeremy.

“How could you sleep so late?” Ashley asks.

“It is literally eight.” Jeremy says. “Trevor sleeps until noon.”

“When I can.” Trevor nods. “Studying art takes a lot out of a guy.”

“Stop fighting, kids.” Leslie reprimands, turning a package over in her hands. “Trevor, this is for you.”

“Oh, no.” Trevor protests. “I can’t take this. I don’t even have anything for you.”

“Shut up.” Leslie smiles. “It’s a present.” Trevor takes it and unwraps it gingerly. It’s a sweater, maroon and thick wool.

“It looks like a Weasley sweater.” Trevor moans and pushes his face into it. “So soft.” Leslie laughs.

“Well I’m glad you like it.” She says.

“Like it?” Trevor asks, pulling it on over his t-shirt. “I love it. It’s amazing. Thank you so much.”

“No trouble at all, dearie.” Leslie reaches over and ruffles Trevor’s hair. Trevor pushes a small package towards Trevor.

“This is for you.” Trevor says as Jeremy picks it up and unwraps it. It’s a book, a collection of poems about space. “I just, I remembered that you liked it and I just thought that it would be good and I don-”

“I love it.” Jeremy interrupts, giving Trevor a small smile. “It’s perfect, thank you.”

Jeremy gives Trevor a set of feathery paint brushes, small and thin, and Trevor promises to paint something for him. 

“Here, Trevor.” Leslie pushes a skein of yarn and a pair of needles into Trevor’s hands after the presents have all been opened and wrapping paper litters the floor. . “Start trying, I’ll make a knitter out of you yet. Jeremy, can I have a word?” Leslie leads her son into the kitchen, away from everyone else.

“What’s up, Mom?” Jeremy asks. 

“Look, Jeremy, Trevor’s a nice boy.” Leslie nods. “Take care of him, okay?”

“Shouldn’t you be giving this talk to Trevor?” Jeremy snorts. Leslie shakes her head.

“You can take care of yourself.” She says. “But Trevor, he’s seen some things, I can tell. He’s been through a lot, yeah? Maybe it’s time to let him off the hook for a bit.” Jeremy nods.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. I get that, I really do.” Jeremy hugs Leslie. “Thanks, Mom.” Ashley slides into the kitchen.

“Yo, break up the affection.” She chuckles. “Jer, Trevor and I are going to have a snowball fight, do you wanna come?”

“I’ll fight you.” Trevor supplies, walking in behind Ashley. “I will beat you into the ground.” Jeremy laughs.

“I’m always game for that.”

Trevor ends up beating both Ashley and Jeremy, even when they both teamed up on him. They re-enter the house hours later, snow dusting their hair and clothes.

“Ah, Trevor!” Leslie says. “You said you could make pies, yeah?”

“Uh, yeah.” Trevor nods. “I can. Why?”

“I want you to teach me and Jeremy to make one.” Leslie declares.

“What about me?” Ashley protests. 

“You can’t bake worth a damn.” Leslie waves her away. “It would just be a waste of ingredients.” Ashley nods.

“True, though.” She backs away “Have fun with your pie things.”

They start and it is more chaotic than anyone could have ever imagined.

“No, Jeremy!” Trevor shouts, pulling a spice can from his hands. “This is chile powder, not cinnamon! Read, Jeremy, read!”

“I’m busy!” Jeremy protests. “Busy not reading!”

“Aren’t spice and chocolate supposed to go together, though?” Leslie asks and Trevor runs a hand through his hair.

“Yes, but chile does not go well with chocolate and peanut butter.” Trevor shakes his head. “Like, no. And Leslie, what are you doing?”

“I’m spreading the pie dough?” Leslie says, unsure of herself.

“No. No, very no, that is completely no.” Trevor slides her pie pan towards himself. “You do it like this.” He spreads his hands across it in equal motions. “See? And you crimp it at the edges like this.” Trevor pinches the pastry to the edges of the pan, carefully. 

Leslie’s pie comes out of the oven okay and Jeremy’s is a goopy yet burnt mess in a steaming pan, but Leslie’s is at least edible, so it’s fine. Trevor has flour streaked through his hair, making it stand up on end, and he is beaming. Jeremy has never seen him look happier.

Trevor and Jeremy do have to leave eventually and Leslie pulls Trevor into a hug before they go.

“You’re my favourite kid.” Leslie grins. “Make sure Jeremy brings you back, yeah?”

“I don’t think he can keep me away.” Trevor admits. 

“Love you, Mom. Love you, Dad.” Jeremy calls over his shoulder, leading Trevor to the car in the dark.

Their hands may or may not find each other in the darkness and if they clasp together and don’t release until the end of the car drive, nothing is said. It is comfortable, so much more comfortable than the car ride up, and it is immensely enjoyable, both driver and passenger basking in the young, warm rays of love radiating from both of their hearts.

“I fucking- I love your mom.” Trevor admits, his voice cracking and he rubs at his face.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy questions, taking his eyes off the road for a split second to look at Trevor.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Trevor lets out a shaky breath. “I’m good, I’m good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyo look at that  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	15. all i want is your hoodies and your warmth

Trevor and Jeremy are in the art studio, Trevor’s face hidden behind a canvas, but his hair and forehead are visible over the top. Jeremy is supposed to be writing, his laptop sitting warm on his lap, but he just ends up staring at the blank side of Trevor’s canvas and Trevor himself when he ducks out from behind it to smile at Jeremy. Music is ringing out from Trevor’s phone on the black tabletop next to Jeremy. The music sounds familiar, and then Jeremy places it.

“Are these your favourite songs?” Jeremy asks. Trevor leans away from his canvas, giving Jeremy a spectacular view of his face.

“What’s that?” Trevor rolls the paint brush between his fingers. His shirt is stained, paint splatters, new and old, adorning every inch of fabric. 

“Are these your favourite songs?” Jeremy asks, again. “You played them in the car the day we went to go rollerskating.”

“Oh, yeah.” Trevor nods. “I mean, they’re not like my favourite songs, per say. It’s just- This is my dysphoria playlist.”

“Oh.” Jeremy is quiet for a few moments. “Can I do anything to help?”

“No.” Trevor shakes his head. “But thank you. It’ll pass by itself.”

“Are you sure?” Jeremy reiterates. “I can go get you food or something, anything you want.” Trevor chuckles.

“That’s really sweet, Jeremy.” Trevor smiles. “It really is, but no. I’ll be fine, I promise.”

“As long as you’re sure.” Jeremy’s hands hover over the keys on his laptop.

“I’m very sure. I’ve been dealing with this for a long time, man. I know what to do.” Trevor disappears back behind the canvas and Jeremy still doesn’t work on his essay. A drop of paint, blood red, drips onto the ground, splashing on the white tile right next to Trevor’s shoe. It draws Jeremy’s attention and he watches it spread, moving like an animal, bending and twisting in a dance of colour and motion.

When they finally leave, Trevor curls himself up in the passenger seat of Jeremy’s car. He tucks his knees under his chin and lets his head loll over the side of the seat. His eyes are closed, but his hands are moving, tapping, weaving his fingers together and apart, a constant state of movement. Jeremy watches him.

“Do you want to get something to eat?” Jeremy slides the key into the ignition. Trevor shrugs, a small, barely noticeable twitch of his shoulders.

“It’s up to you.” Trevor murmurs.

So, Jeremy gets them both sandwiches from this one local place that he knows Trevor likes. Trevor looks at him through half closed eyes when he gets back in the car.

“Thank you. For-” Trevor waves his hand at Jeremy in a lazy motion. “Everything. All of this. You. You’re pretty great.”

“Of course, Trevor.” Jeremy says, voice hushed. Trevor falls silent once again, letting his eyes close all the way. Jeremy drives carefully back to Steffie’s apartment and leads the seemingly dazed Trevor up to his dorm.

They sit down on the couch together, Trevor lying his head across Jeremy’s knees.

“Do you want to watch something?” Jeremy asks, running a hand through Trevor’s hair.

“Sure.” Trevor says, softly. “Just not something like, loud, please.” So, Jeremy pulls up Frasier on Netflix and balances his laptop on the coffee table. Trevor is biting his lips, leaving two white marks in the soft pink. The show plays for a few minutes, recorded voices the only noise in the dark room.

“Trevor, you wear a binder, right?” Jeremy pauses his hands in motion, fingers lingering on Trevor’s cool forehead. Trevor opens his eyes.

“Uh, yes? Why?” Trevor sounds surprised, oddly so.

“If you need to or if you just want to, you can take it off.” Jeremy says. “I’ve got some super loose hoodies you can put on, if you want to.” Trevor winds the hem of his shirt around his fingers.

“Are you sure?” Trevor asks. “Are you really, really sure?”

“Of course.” Jeremy nods. “Anything to make you comfortable.” Trevor bites his lip again before standing and ducking into Jeremy’s room. He comes out a few minutes later wearing a far too large hoodie.

“It smells like you.” Trevor says, voice muffled in the swaths of fabric. He melts back up against Jeremy’s side. “Thank you.”

“Always.” Jeremy presses a light kiss to Trevor’s forehead before carding his fingers through Trevor’s jet black hair again.

Trevor’s phone rings, a harsh, loud noise in the comfortable quiet. Trevor winces and pulls it out of his pocket. His eyes flicker across the screen displaying the caller’s name, but Trevor doesn’t answer it. He just stares at the phone, eyes wide, until the ringing stops and the screen goes dark.

“Who was that?” Jeremy asks.

“No one important.” Trevor shoves his phone back in his pocket. “No one worth my time.” They sit in the quiet dark again for a long time, both of them losing track of the minutes as they slide by.

And then with no warning, the door swings open, letting yellow light from the hallway flood in. Trevor is up in a split second, dashing back into Jeremy’s room, closing the door behind him. Matt turns on the lights and looks at Jeremy, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Was that Trevor?” Matt questions and Jeremy nods.

“Uh, yeah.” Jeremy stands up. 

“Where’s he off to?” Matt tilts his head at Jeremy.

“Man, I don’t know.” Jeremy lies, he has a pretty good idea of why Trevor doesn’t want Matt or anyone to see him. The door to Jeremy’s room opens again and Trevor steps out, still wearing Jeremy’s oversized hoodie, but his chest is flatter than before.

“Thanks for everything, Jer.” Trevor says, pressing a kiss to Jeremy’s cheek. “I’ll see you soon, yeah? Later, Matt.” And Trevor ducks out of the door, footsteps retreating down the hallway.

“So, that was Trevor.” Matt nods.

“Uh, yeah.” Jeremy feels a heat rising in his cheeks. Matt shakes his head.

“Dude. Cole is going to be so mad.” Matt smirks and Jeremy laughs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyyyy i listened to the new Modern Baseball album, Holy Ghost, while writing this and Christ, it's so gooood  
> guys, who called Trevor? Why didn't he pick up his phone?  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	16. holy ghost

“I’m going to fucking end you.” Cole taunts, taking the deck of cards in his hands. “Wait and see.” Cole and the rest of their small four person crew are sitting around the table in Steffie’s apartment, Exploding Kittens cards sprawled out on the tabletop.

“You try.” Trevor smirks, placing down a card. “I skip.”

“God damn it, Trevor.” Steffie swears, plucking the fatal card off of the top of the deck and throwing her cards down. “Why do you hurt me like this?”

“I’m sorry.” Trevor says. “Cole is just really, really out to get me.”

“It’s because you two got together without me!” Cole protests.

“Wait, what?” Jeremy raises his eyebrows. “You wanted in with us? Oh, Cole, you should have told us!” 

“No!” Cole shakes his head. “Nope, no, no. It’s fine, I want nothing with whatever it is you two do. Nothing.”

“But you don’t know what we do.” Trevor purrs. “Maybe you’d like to find out.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Cole shrugs Jeremy’s hand off of his shoulder. “I get it, I get it.” Trevor’s phone rings, vibrating against the table. Trevor slides it over to him, eyes scanning the screen before canceling the call.

“Who was it?” Steffie asks. “Wrong number shit or something?”

“Or something.” Trevor says. “Nobody important.” Trevor’s phone rings again and he declines the call immediately.

“Are you sure that’s not important?” Jeremy asks and Trevor shakes his head.

“This stuff.” He gestures at his phone. “Stopped being important a long time ago.” The phone rings again and Trevor groans. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I should take it.” He stands up, pushing his chair back, and holding the phone up to his ear. “What?” Trevor snaps as he retreats into the hallway.

“Is… Is he okay?” Cole asks, quietly, eyes trained on the doorway to the hallway.

“I think so.” Jeremy offers. “I mean… Maybe?”

Trevor comes running full tilt out of the hallway. His phone slips and falls out of his pocket and he slams the front door behind him.

“What- what happened?” Steffie asks, sitting stunned in her chair. “Did he just-? He just ran out, right?”

“Uh, yeah.” Cole answers, sounding just as surprised. “Fuck!” Cole jumps up. “I’m going to go find him!”

“Us too.” Jeremy says and they all rush out of the apartment. Jeremy scoops up Trevor’s phone as they leaves, placing it carefully in his pocket.”What the fuck happened?”

“We’ve really got to find out.” Steffie nods. “C’mon, let’s go to his dorm first, maybe he went back there.”

Jeremy knocks on the door to Trevor’s dorm, quickly, and it is opened by Jordan.

“Have you seen Trevor?” Steffie asks, biting her lip. Jordan looks confused.

“Uh, no? He was playing cards with you guys wasn’t he?” Jordan narrows his eyes. “Of fucking Christ, what happened?”

“He got a phone call and then he ran away.” Cole explains. “Without telling us or anything. Just poof, gone. Do you have any idea where he could have gone to?”

“Yeah.” Jordan grabs a scarf from where it’s slung over the back of a chair. “Come on, let’s check the art studio, I’m coming with you.”

Trevor’s phone rings in Jeremy’s pocket and Jeremy reads the contact name.  _ Boss ass bitch. _

“Hey, you guys go on ahead.” Jeremy says. “I’m going to take this.”

“Sure, man.” Steffie nods. “You know where we’ll be.” Jeremy answers the call, quickly.

“Trevor?” A voice asks from the other side. “Oh, thank God. Your brother called me and told me what happened. Are you okay?”

“I’m not Trevor.” Jeremy says, quickly. “I’m his friend. Look, I know you’re worried, I’m worried too. He bolted with no explanation and we’re trying to find him. I’ll get him to call you back once we locate him, yeah? Oh, motherfucker, I know where he is. I’ll get him to call you.” Jeremy exchanges Trevor’s phone for his own and shoots off a text.

_ You (7:12): Hey, I know where he is _

Snail Snail Snail (7:12): Oh thank god, he’s not in the art studio. Where?

_ You (7:13): The mansion in his woods. It’s his favourite place. I’m going to get him. _

Jeremy runs back to Steffie’s apartment building and he jumps into his car. Nothing can go fast enough to appease his worry. He forces himself to obey the speed limit, he’ll be no help to Trevor if he is in jail. He parks his car just off the mouth of the small trail that Trevor lead him down and he runs through the woods, snow crunching beneath his feet and brambles whipping at his face. He doesn’t care, doesn’t mind, just runs. 

The high window is open, so he climbs up the tree and slips through. Jeremy can hear choked sobs echoing from somewhere in the house, so he ventures further inward. And then there’s Trevor, curled into a ball in the middle of a large, dusty room. Jeremy texts Steffie again.

_ You (7:38): got him _

Jeremy sits down next to Trevor, quietly. Trevor doesn’t move.

“What happened?” Jeremy asks, voice quiet, and Trevor takes a shaky breath.

“Fu-fuck.” Trevor swipes at his face, trying to wipe away the tears. “That was- that was my mom.”

“What’d she say?” Jeremy prompts.

“She- she told me that my grandfather died.” Trevor blinks back more tears. “He- He loved me. He was the best part of my shitty, shitty family. He- He fucking bought me my first binder and started calling me his grandson when I came out to him. I loved him.” Trevor starts crying again and Jeremy tucks Trevor’s head against his shoulder.

“Hey, hey, I know what it feels like to lose someone you love.” Jeremy murmurs, running his hand through Jeremy’s hair.

“Yeah.” Trevor breathes. “He’s really gone.”

“Somebody called for you.” Jeremy says. “Their contact was ‘Boss ass bitch’. Do you want to talk to them right now?” Trevor nods.

“Yeah. Yeah, yeah.” Trevor’s hands are shaking as he takes his phone from Jeremy and punches in the number. He holds it up to his ear, tucking the phone against his shoulder. “Hey. Yeah, I know. I know.” Trevor laughs, another wave of tears rolling down his cheeks. “I’m not going to. I promised, didn’t I? I won’t.”

Trevor stays on the phone for a long time before hanging up and looking up at Jeremy.

“Can you take me to the art studio?” Trevor asks and Jeremy nods.

“Of course. Let’s go.”

Trevor pulls up a picture on his phone as soon as they’re in the studio and he starts painting on a canvas facing away from Jeremy. Jeremy watches Trevor, biting his lip and tapping his fingers against his thighs. He is anxious, scared for the man the he loves.

They stay there for hours before Jeremy finally manages to drag Trevor away from his work. Trevor collapses into Jeremy’s bed and curls up against Jeremy’s side. Jeremy watches Trevor sleep for a while, eyes fixed on Trevor’s soft face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy look at that. poor Trevor, though.  
> I was actually listening to the album Sports by Modern Baseball, but the title was appropriate so  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	17. orange fluorescence

The weather starts to get warmer, the sun no longer hidden behind blankets upon blankets of thick, grey clouds. The clouds clear and plants sprout, new life in the earth to replace all the life lost during the colder months. And Trevor is getting better, or at least he’s trying to. He talks more, does more, is no longer in the worst of the depression, but he has bad days, bad, bad days. It is on one of these bad days that Trevor, sobbing, tells Jeremy that he doesn’t think he will ever be okay again. Jeremy takes Trevor into his arms.

“It feels like that, I know.” Jeremy tries to comfort Trevor. “But he wouldn’t want his death to overshadow your life, would he? He loved you, Trev.” And Jeremy wraps his arms tighter around his crying boyfriend, wishing that he could take away his pain.

And it is getting warmer and Trevor starts to perk back up. He is loud, he is laughing, he is the radiant sun, those weeks were only the clouds blotting him from view.

Jeremy notices a new painting hanging in Trevor’s dorm. A small oil painting of a smiling man, caught mid laughter, he is old, wrinkles forming ridges across his soft face, and he looks like Trevor. Jeremy doesn’t mention the painting to Trevor and Trevor doesn’t mention it to Jeremy, it’s just there, on the wall, laughing and laughing and laughing. 

Jeremy knocks on Trevor’s door, one, two, three times. It’s opened quickly and Trevor is grinning at him, a lazy cat smile on his face.

“You ready?” Jeremy asks, smiling back at Trevor.

“Yeah, of course.” Trevor shuts the door behind him and slips his hand into Jeremy’s, swinging them back and forth.

“Are we in kindergarten now?” Jeremy snorts, but doesn’t pull his hand away.

“We totally could be.” Trevor says. “I mean, do you want to be? Kindergarten is cool.”

“Literally all you do is cut stuff and play with Play-Doh and chalk.” Jeremy shakes his head and Trevor grimaces, screwing up his face.

“Ew. Ew, ew, ew. Play-Doh is disgusting. Like, no, why is that a thing? We do not need that thing, too many children eat it and egh.” Trevor gags, bending over.

“You okay?” Jeremy pulls Trevor back up.

“It’s disgusting.” Trevor declares. “So, let’s not be in kindergarten. Let’s be in high school.

We can be the cutest, most aesthetic couple in the world. I’ll be the oddly hipster one who isn’t actually a hipster and you, my dear, can be the cute, punk one that has an affinity for cute boys and theatre.”

“Dude, I’d do it.” Jeremy nods. “We’d meet because I was the lead in the play and you were painting the sets and I ran into you and totally made you spill paint all over your shirt, so I gave you one of my hoodies. You never gave it back, you know.”

“Never.” Trevor smirks. “It is mine now! God, this makes my high school years seem horrible. I mean, they were, but they would have been so much better with you.”

“I’m sorry.” Jeremy says, immediately. Trevor shakes his head.

“It’s fine.” He pulls Jeremy’s arm over his shoulders. “What was your high school like?”

“It was okay.” Jeremy admits. “I had some people that I knew, but I wasn’t good friends with them like I am with Steffie or Cole. All I did was focus on theatre, really. But I passed every class, so. And I almost started selling people done homework for money.”

“You’re kidding!” Trevor says, incredulous. “Not little innocent Jeremy!”

“Yes, little innocent Jeremy.” Jeremy chuckles. “I needed money to go on the theatre trip to see Macbeth.”

“Jesus christ, you nerd.” Trevor pushes Jeremy, playfully.

The restaurant is nice, candle lit and white tablecloths, and Jeremy realizes that there is something he doesn’t know as soon as their food comes.

“Trevor, when’s your birthday?” Jeremy asks.

“Uh, my birthday?” Trevor pauses for a second and counts a number out on his fingers. “Next Saturday.”

“Wait, really? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jeremy questions. “These are things that I would like to know!” Trevor shrugs, spearing a few noodles with his fork.

“It’s just…” Trevor sighs and shrugs. “I’ve never really had a good birthday. My parents were never really big on the whole celebrate your age thing after you turned fourteen, so… I wasn’t out then, either so it wasn’t good. Kind of like a reminder, a ‘yeah, look what’s wrong with you, and now you have to live with it for so much longer’.Yeah, I don’t know. It’s just not something I’ve really ever liked.”

“Would you- can I do something for you?” Jeremy asks.

“If you want to.” Trevor nods. “But you don’t have to. I’m not expecting anything.”

They walk back to Trevor’s dorm room, hand in hand, and Trevor keeps making jokes about what Jeremy must have been like in high school.

“Come on, I’m totally right!” Trevor exclaims. “You were a lil’, gay, punk baby.”

“Look, I’m not saying that I wasn’t.” Jeremy holds up his free hand in defense. “But I was also a total theatre nerd and was in charge of doing the whole theatre department’s makeup.”

They fall asleep curled into each other on Trevor’s couch.

Jeremy wakes up with a crick in his neck and Trevor stretched across his lap, blinking lazily.

“You look like a cat.” Jeremy murmurs, running a hand over Trevor’s face.

“Heckity yes.” Trevor nods, before batting his lashes at Jeremy. “Will you make some coffee? Please? Please, please, please?” Jeremy sighs.

“You have to get off of me first.” Jeremy explains. Trevor huffs but moves just enough to allow Jeremy to get up. Jordan walks in from his room.

“Hey, guys.” He greets. “Make sure you go to your classes today.”

“We will.” Trevor promises. “Jeremy’s just going to make me coffee. Then we’ll go.”

“Sure.” Jordan shakes his head at Trevor, smiling fondly. “I’ll see you later, then. Bye!” He closes the door behind him.

“Coffee is in the cabinet.” Trevor instructs from the couch and Jeremy opens the cabinet doors. He may be too short to see into them clearly. Maybe. It’s not technically confirmed yet. He pulls out a small, fluorescent orange bottle bearing Trevor’s name.

“What are these?” Jeremy asks Trevor, who looks up from the sofa.

“You weren’t supposed to find those.” Trevor’s face is dark and Jeremy furrows his brow.

“What? Why not?” Jeremy asks. “Trevor, are you okay?”

“Give those to me.” Trevor says, standing from the couch. “Please.”

“Trevor, are you okay?” Jeremy isn’t on the verge of tears, nope, nope, nope. “Please, I’m just worried about you!”

“I can fucking have secrets!” Trevor snaps. “I can!”

“I just want to know if you’re fucking dying or not!” Jeremy tosses the bottle to Trevor. “Take your goddamn pills, I’m leaving.” Jeremy storms out, slamming the door behind him.

_ You (12:23): i’m really sorry [Message Deleted] _

_ You (12:25): I love you [Message Deleted} _

_ You (12:46): I fucking messed up, I’m so so sorry [Message Deleted] _

_ You (1:17): I fucking messed up, I know, I’m so sorry, please, please forgive me [Message Deleted} _

_ You (4:30): I’m in too deep, I miss you already I’m so so sor [Message Deleted] _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no. what has happened here?  
> but i actually have this whole story planned out now! there's quite a bit left, so take that as you will.  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	18. not bad

Jeremy gets no sleep that night, thoughts running through his head, a never-ending stream of his own conscious. This is how he comes to be standing in front of Trevor’s door, fist raised, poised to knock, but he’s not. Trevor hadn’t sent him anything the previous, too long night, and it worries Jeremy to no end. He knows that he acted like an asshole, but he’s so fucking worried and he can not take it anymore. The sun hasn’t risen yet, the sky still dark, and he hopes to God that Trevor will answer.He knocks, once, twice, three times. The door is open quickly, so quickly that Jeremy jumps backwards.he door opens quickly, so quickly that Jeremy jumps back. Trevor looks at him from the doorway, long fingers curled around the edges of the door.

“We should talk about this inside.” Trevor turns and walks back in, Jeremy following slowly behind him. Trevor perches himself on the counter and Jeremy just stands awkwardly in the middle of the room.

“I’m- I’m sorry.” Jeremy says. “I was being a dick, and I’m sorry. You are allowed to have secrets, of course you are, and I’m really, really sorry.” Trevor sighs and rubs his eyes with the back of his hand.

“I’m sorry, too.” Trevor bites his lip. “I just- I didn’t want to tell you because… I don’t know, it’s not- not a thing that people have taken well in the past. Look, don’t freak out, okay? Promise?”

“Jesus, Trevor.” Jeremy breathes. “Are you- are you really dying?”

“No!” Trevor shakes his head quickly. “No! I’m not, people just always over react about this. Look, the pills… They’re not for anything life threatening or debilitating, they’re just stuff to help with my anxiety and, uh, my depression.”

“You have anxiety?” Jeremy asks. “You’re depressed? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I have anxiety.” Trevor nods. “Just a lifelong thing, and I’ve been on depression meds since I was a teenager. I didn’t tell you because, well, it’s fucking awkward. A lot of the time, people see me as a different person, not the person they’ve known, and it’s just- Those things are a part of me. That’s it.”

“I- I get that.” Jeremy nods. “But please, please, please. Tell me things like this. I deserve to know. Are either of the things really bad?” Trevor shrugs.

“I still get panic attacks with the meds.” Trevor explains. “But the depression, it’s a lot better than it used to be.”

“Fucking- Can I hug you?” Jeremy asks and Trevor nods, sliding off the counter and into Jeremy’s arms. Jeremy buries his head in Trevor’s shoulder. “I’m so glad you’re not dying.” Trevor chuckles.

“Me too. I’d never be able to see you again, and that’s kind of a deal breaker for me.” Trevor smiles. 

They stay there like that, caught in each other's’ arms, for a long time, but eventually Trevor breaks away.

“Okay, I don’t know about you.” Trevor says. “But it is fucking early and I need caffeine. You want to grab some coffee?”

“You mean go on a cliched date with my wonderful, lovely boyfriend?” Jeremy jokes. “Who would I be to give up a date like that?”

“A lesbian.” Trevor says, instantly, and Jeremy chokes.

“What the fuck, man?” Jeremy grins. “I was trying to make a joke there!”

“I just made a better one.” Trevor shakes his head. “You’ve got to learn to keep up, hon. C’mon, let’s go.” Trevor wraps his arm around Jeremy and leads him out of the door.

They’re walking down the streets and Jeremy keeps sneaking glances at Trevor because how can he not? Trevor is fucking beautiful and his hair glows in the golden morning light. Jeremy fishes his phone out of his pocket and snaps a picture of Trevor when he isn’t looking. He didn’t turn the sound off, so Trevor looks at Jeremy immediately.

“Did you just take a picture of me?” Trevor asks.

“Uh, maybe?” Jeremy offers, sheepishly. “Look, you’re cute! I literally can not help it!”

“Uh huh, sure.” Trevor smirks. “I mean, at least you’ll have something to look at when I’m not around.” Jeremy snorts and Trevor takes a picture with his phone. “See? Now I have one, too.”

And it becomes a game, taking pictures whenever one of them looks away, and the camera rolls on their phones quickly fill.

“Dare you to make it your lockscreen.” Jeremy tells Trevor, who shrugs.

“Sure. Are you doing it, too?” Trevor asks.

“I mean, are you daring me?” Jeremy chuckles as Trevor leans closer to him.

“I dare you.” Trevor smirks.

“Well, I guess I am, then.” Jeremy laughs. Trevor takes a sip of his coffee that they got at a small, non-descript place along their walk.

“Hey, isn’t your place close to here?” Trevor questions and Jeremy nods.

“Uh, yeah. Why? Do you want to go?” Jeremy asks in return.

“No, no.” Trevor shakes his head. “I just wanted to know because it seems like a perfect place to hide a body. Yes, I want to go!”

“The body thing is totally plausible!” Jeremy defends. “C’mon, it’s this way.”

“Ah, yes.” Trevor chuckles. “Lead me to the scene of your murder.”

“What the fuck, man?” Jeremy shakes his head. “Please don’t kill me.”

“Aw, I could never.” Trevor smiles. “You’re just too darn adorable.”

“I know it.” Jeremy nods. 

“Fuck!” Trevor drops in the entrance to the park, crouching as a frisbee spins through the air where his head was moments ago. A man comes running up.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” He helps Trevor up.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Trevor looks at the man. “Hey, didn’t I catch your runaway dog?” The man laughs.

“I think so. I’m Caleb.” He introduces himself. “And you’ve already met Squid.” He points down to the dog at his feet, who’s panting and grinning widely.

“Hello, Squid.” Trevor scratches the dog’s head. “Did you miss me? Did you? Aw, did you?”

“Probably.” Caleb smiles. “He misses literally everybody. He loves people.”

“Dogs are cute.” Jeremy rubs Squid’s nose. 

“They’re going to kill me one day.” Trevor groans. “But I love them too much.”

“Dude, they’re lovely.” Caleb nods. “I’d much rather interact with them than with humans.”

“Same.” Trevor nods, straightening up. “Well, we’re gonna leave you, then. See you around, Caleb!” Jeremy waves as he and Trevor walk away. “He was nice.”

“He was.” Jeremy nods and he leads Trevor through the woods again to the pond. 

It’s still beautiful in the spring, perhaps even more so, buds and small wild flowers framing the pond in delicate perfection. 

A deer approaches through the woods and bends its neck, long, pink tongue stretching out to drink the water. It looks up, large eyes staring at the pair. It shakes its head quickly and bounds off into the forest.

Jeremy and Trevor stay there at the place until the moon is high in the sky, making the pond glow silver in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy another one. nice. look, they made up! i'm not completely evil  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	19. blue icing

“Happy birthday, Trevor!” Jeremy shouts, bursting into Trevor’s dorm. Trevor is sitting cross-legged on the floor, spoon of cereal halfway to his mouth.

“What the hell, man?” He asks, looking up at Jeremy, but not moving.

“You should really lock your doors.” Jeremy advises. “Burglary rates on college campuses are increasing dramatically.” Trevor snorts.

“I don’t think you could rob me.” Trevor stands, carefully, trying very hard not to spill any of the milk in his bowl. “Besides, I’ve got that murderer’s physique, I would probably just kill you and feed your body to Jordan without him knowing.”

“Dude, no.” Jeremy shakes his head. “Murderer physique and cannibal physique are very different.”

“Who has this famed cannibal physique, then?” Trevor asks.

“Cole.” Jeremy says, quickly. Trevor thinks for a second before nodding.

“I see it.” He groans. “Now I can’t unsee it. What’s this about my birthday?” Jeremy’s smile falters.

“It’s, uh, it’s today, right?” Jeremy asks and Trevor stares at him before nodding.

“Yeah, it is. I just wanted to freak you out.” Trevor smiles and Jeremy rolls his eyes.

“Come on, I’ve got something for you in my dorm.” Jeremy offers Trevor his hand. “My prince.” Trevor clicks his tongue, but places his own hand in Jeremy’s.

“Cheesy.” Trevor reprimands and Jeremy just laughs, leading Trevor up the stairs.

“C’mon, c’mon.” Jeremy nearly pushes Trevor through his door. Trevor stumbles a few steps inside, then pauses. There is a cake on the small table, reading ‘Happy Birthday, Trevor!’ in loopy, messy, blue icing. Jeremy steps to Trevor’s side.

“Is it- Is there something wrong?” Jeremy asks and Trevor shakes his head, smiling.

“No, no.” He turns to Jeremy, eyes misted over. “Not at all.”

“Did I make you upset?” Jeremy bites his lip. “We don’t- We can not celebrate your birthday, it’s fine, we can pretend that this didn’t hap-” Trevor cuts Jeremy off, wrapping his arms around the smaller man.

“Jeremy, no.” Trevor whispers. “It’s not- I’m so, so, incredibly happy. This is- It’s the first cake that’s ever had ‘Trevor’ on it, okay? I’m not upset, I promise. Can we eat it?” Jeremy pulls away from the hug.

“Of course.” He fishes two plates from the cabinets and hands one to Trevor. He puts a large piece of cake on both plates. 

“Same time?” Trevor asks.

“Sure.” Jeremy shrugs. They both take large bites of cake. In sync, their eyes flicker up to meet each other and they stare for a few seconds before spitting the cake out.

“Jeremy, I really appreciate this.” Trevor says, scrubbing icing off his tongue with a napkin. “But, uh…”

“I can’t bake, I’m sorry.” Jeremy chuckles. “I should’ve just grabbed something from a bakery.”

“Well, you can’t have a completely perfect birthday, right?” Trevor smiles. “Or at least, that’s what I’ve heard.”

“I’d say that’s pretty accurate.” Jeremy stoops down and grabs a box from under the counter. “At least I didn’t make your present. It probably won’t be horrible.”

“Well, I would say that if it’s something you got me, it can’t be horrible.” Trevor smirks. “But then I remember that cake from about thirty seconds ago, and I am reminded that even the greatest of us have flaws.”

“Shut up.” Jeremy shoves the box into Trevor’s hands. “Open it. Open. It.” Trevor rolls his eyes, but quickly tears away the wrapping paper and takes off the lid. He holds up a large pack of multi-colour permanent markers.

“Dude, I love these. So much.” Trevor says.

“Under the tissue paper.” Jeremy instructs and Trevor digs deeper into the box. 

“Oh my God.” He breathes. “I love them.” He pulls out a pair of clean, white roller skates. “They are beautiful. Oh, thank you!” Trevor wraps his arms around Jeremy, who laughs.

“That’s what the markers are for.” Jeremy explains. “I thought that we could draw on them.” Trevor nods, quickly.

“Oh my God, yes.” 

For a solid hour, the pair sits cross legged on the floor of Jeremy’s dorm, markers spread out all around them in a rainbow array as they colour and draw, a multitude of designs in varying levels of expertise and detail, but the after effect is beautiful. Jeremy drives Trevor to the skate park where Trevor’s eagle still adorns the wall.

“You have a board?” Trevor leans against Jeremy’s car as Jeremy pulls out an old but well-kept skateboard from the trunk.

“Yeah.” Jeremy nods. “Cole has been ‘taking care of it’ for a while now, so I’m a bit rusty. C’mon, though. Let’s go.” 

Trevor is breaking in his new skates, pirouettes and loops and small jumps as the stiffness wears away. There’s a small group of teenagers watching him, eyes fixed on his every move.

“Can you do anything else?” One younger girl asks. “Like, can you do tricks?”

“Yeah.” Trevor smiles and turns around to face them. “You want to see one?” He gets a few nods. He braces himself, before throwing himself into a backflip.

“Oh my god.” The same young girl breathes. “Teach me. Please.”

“I can’t, sorry.” Trevor shakes his head. “You could get really hurt. Tricks like that take a heck a lot of practice, believe me.”

“Can you just show us more, then?” The tallest girl in the group asks. Trevor agrees and does a select few from his showcase of skills. It takes all of Jeremy’s effort to drag Trevor away from the teenage girls, the taller one waving at him as they both leave.

“She’s got a crush on you.” Jeremy chuckles, poking Trevor in the ribs.

“Too bad I’m very gay, then. And taken.” He places a small kiss on Jeremy’s cheek. “And thank you.”

“For what?” Jeremy asks, confused.

“For the whole birthday shebang.” Trevor smiles softly, cheek bones pronounced in the dusky purple light. “It means a lot to me. Even if the cake was inedible.”

“Are you going to hold that against me forever?” Jeremy groans.

“Only until next year.” Trevor teases. “You want to go get milkshakes? I mean, they’re close to cake. Kind of. Not really, but it’s my birthday, and I say it’s fine.”

When Trevor kisses Jeremy goodnight, he tastes of vanilla and Jeremy tastes of butterscotch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that it's been so long since the last update. i had end of the year tests and then my internet went out, but it's here now! and the story is slowly winding down.  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	20. dead fish

“Dude, can you believe that Miles and Kerry actually wrote a play?” Jeremy asks, running a hand through Trevor’s hair. Trevor groans and shifts, pushing his nose into Jeremy’s stomach.

“Yeah, they’re good as hell as what they do. What I can’t believe, though, is that you got the lead.” Trevor smirks. “I thought they would’ve heard about the whole breaking your leg thing and deemed you a token of bad luck.” Jeremy snorts.

“Believe it or not, Trevor, that story is not common knowledge.” Jeremy looks down at his boyfriend who is splayed like a dead fish across his sofa. He isn’t wearing his binder, instead sporting an old sweatshirt of Jeremy’s. It’s too short for him and is slowly creeping up from the waist of his dark skinny jeans, revealing pale skin.

“Oh, really?” Trevor smiles. “I guess I’m just one of those privileged few, huh?”

“Guess so, honey.” Jeremy ghosts his fingers lightly across Trevor’s cheek as Trevor pulls his lips back in a grimace.

“Ew, no.” Trevor shakes his head. “I hate pet names.”

“Is that so, sweetums?” Jeremy coos.

“Oh, God. Please. Jeremy, you’re killing me. You don’t want to kill your boyfriend.” Trevor tries to dissuade him.

“Oh, of course not, baby boy.” Jeremy covers his mouth, trying not to laugh.

“God damn it, Jer. I’m the one with the murderer’s physique, not you.” Trevor argues and Jeremy chuckles.

“You don’t know, I could easily be a murderer in Miles and Kerry’s play.” Jeremy shakes his head. “Or not.”

“Just tell me something about the play.” Trevor needles. “I asked Miles about it and he just put his hands in my face and ran away.”

“It’s ‘cause you’re scary.” Jeremy says. “No, I can’t tell you anything about it. It’s a surprise, darling.” Trevor makes a face.

“Ew, surprises. Well, at least I can bug him about it at theatre club tonight.” Trevor supposes. “I will get Kerry to tell me something, or someone will die.”

“I suppose I could tell you one thing.” Jeremy allows. “But! You can’t tell anybody that I did.”

“What?” Trevor asks.

“I’m in it.” Jeremy whispers. Trevor squawks and swats at Jeremy’s face.

“I hate you! You’re so bad! Why am I dating you?” Trevor asks, switching from smacking Jeremy lightly to pushing his face from side to side.

“Because you make bad choices.” Jeremy supplies.

“Well, can’t argue with that, I suppose.” Trevor smiles. 

“I’m the lucky one here. I’m dating up, you’re dating down.” Jeremy says.

“Jeremy… You literally just made a short joke about yourself.” Trevor laughs and Jeremy groans.

“How did I not realize that? Maybe I’ve just gotten used to them.” Jeremy hypothesizes. “I mean, that’s logical, right? Been around them so much that I’ve become desensitized.”

“Completely logical, man.” Trevor nods. “I’m surprised you didn’t learn about that in our psych class.”

“You will lord that over me forever, won’t you?” Jeremy asks and Trevor nods.

“I have oodles of fun with you in psych, Jeremy. It’s where we first met, you know.” Trevor snarks.

“God, why are you so good at that?” Jeremy shakes his head. The door bursts open all of a sudden, swinging on it’s hinges, and Trevor jumps upwards, surprised, somehow landing face up on the floor. Matt stands in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob as if he’s not sure whether to close the door and walk away or enter his dorm room. He looks from Trevor to Jeremy to Trevor who is trying very hard to hide his chest behind crossed arms, but he’s not quite succeeding.

“Jeremy.” Matt says, slowly. “Aren’t you going to help your boyfriend off the floor? God, and I thought you were a gentleman…” Trevor jumps up off the floor himself and throws himself at Matt, wrapping his arms around the other’s shoulders. Matt looks surprised. “Dude, Trevor, you okay?”

“I’m good. I’m better than good.” Trevor nods and releases Matt. They look at each other and Matt smiles, softly.

“Don’t you two guys have theatre club in a little bit?” Matt questions. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready to leave?”

“Yeah.” Trevor nods. “Yeah, we should. I’m gonna- I’m just gonna go get dressed. I’ll see you in a few, yeah, Jeremy?” Trevor bolts past Matt and out the door.

“How can he run so much?” Matt grouses. “It’s like, stop. Please. Watching you be physically active is killing me. Also, was he wearing your sweatshirt?”

“Wearing my what?” Jeremy brushes off the question, making to go get dressed.

“Your sweatshirt, numbnuts.” Matt shakes his head. “Oh my God, he was. That’s adorable. You two are such goals.”

“Please shut up!” Jeremy singsongs, retreating into his bedroom.

Trevor is practically jumping up and down when Jeremy meets him on front of the building.

“Christ, what are you so smiley for?” Jeremy asks.

“I don’t know, just Matt- He just didn’t care.” Trevor smiles even wider. “That’s pretty incredible.” Jeremy chuckles.

“C’mon, man. We’ll be late.” He slips his own hand into Trevor’s and starts leading to him the the club.

Cole is standing on the stage when they finally get there and take their seats in the back.

“Ay, folks, it looks like everyone’s here!” Cole claps his hands together. “Finally. I mean, come on. Really, guys? Anyway, tonight is improv night again. Woo, excitement. I know you guys love it. I do too. I’m gonna invite my favourite man up here. Trevor! Come on up!” Trevor rises from his seat and makes his way towards the front. “Please don’t kill me. Anyway! Pick a prompt.” Trevor pulls a slip of paper from the hat and shows it to Cole before setting it down again. Cole sets a timer and the scene begins with Trevor walking away from Cole.

“Hey!” Cole takes a few steps and stands in front of Trevor, effectively blocking him. “I’m talking to you.”

“I’m going to be late to class.” Trevor tries to move around him. “Just leave me alone, man, I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Oh, yeah?” Cole sneers. “What do you call hitting on my girlfriend, then?”

“Dude, I am literally so gay!” Trevor says, putting his hands in front of him.

“Then why were you talking to her, punk?” Cole growls. “Your kind doesn’t get to hang out with the popular girls.” Cole pushes Trevor back, palm connecting with Trevor’s chest. Jeremy can barely see it, but a brief panic flashes over Trevor’s face. And then Trevor is holding Cole’s arm and Cole is wheezing on the ground. Trevor releases him, horrified.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Trevor helps Cole up.

“No, no, it’s fine!” Cole shakes his head. “That was some good acting, man. I am, however, going to sit down now and try not to hurt my ribs. Uh, Jeremy, Ryan, you’re up.” Cole sits down gingerly as Jeremy and Ryan make their way to the front. Ryan pulls out a slip and shows it to Jeremy. It reads ‘Person A goes to their friend Person B after murdering someone”.

“I’m A.” Ryan claims and the scene starts. “Jeremy, Jeremy I need your help.”

“What is it this time?” Jeremy rolls his eyes.

“I killed someone. That Cole kid. I don’t know, he’s just so stabable…” Ryan trails off, staring at Cole in the audience.

“Again, Ryan? Really?” Jeremy runs a hand through his hair. “Fine. Do you have a shovel?” Ryan shakes his head. “A spade?” Ryan shakes his head again. “Do you have anything?”

“The body.” Ryan says. 

“What are you thinking?” Jeremy shrieks. “You don’t bring the body to me! I can’t do anything if you don’t have a shovel! What is wrong with you?” The scene continues to escalate until somehow Jeremy gets stabbed and joins Cole as a dead person. Other pairs get up to act out scenes before Cole takes the stage again.

“It was really enjoyable getting murder again, guys.” Cole says. “So, thanks for that. But our very own child, born in 2001, Jeremy, is going to be in this play Kerry and Miles wrote for the actual Theatre class, so you should go see it in like a month or two.”

“I’m not fifteen!” Jeremy shouts. Cole just shrugs.

“I mean, you look like you could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's another one. This story should be completed before June 14th so yay! But we've stil got a good amount of chapters left, don't worry. and two more days of school!  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	21. devolving into puns

_ You (1:13): Yo, you want to come and play paintball? _

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:14): ayyy, maybs. whose asses am i gonna beat?**

_ You (1:15): Steffie, and Cole _

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:16): Not yours? ;)**

_ You (1:16): Oh my God, I hate you. _

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:16) ;) ;) ;)**

_ You (1:17): Nah nah nah the asexual is covering his ears!!!! _

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:17): nooo jer don’t ignore me babes**

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:18): sweetcakes**

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:18): honeybunches of oats**

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:19): jeremyyyyyyy pls come back i miss you alreadyyyy**

_ You (1:19): Sorry, sorry, i had to check and see if paintball was still on. _

_ You (1:20): You still up for it? _

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:20): ay of course**

_ You (1:21): I’ll pick you up with Steff in a few minutes, then. _

**_Exactly one goat emoji (1:21): pick me up daddy ;)_ **

_ You (1:21): I will leave your sorry ass on the curb _

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:22): kinky**

_ You (1:22): Shut up. I hate you. _

**Exactly one goat emoji (1:23): I made you blush, didn’t I?**

Approximately eight minutes later, Trevor crams his tall self into the back seat of Steffie’s csr next to a very disgruntled Jeremy.

“Jer-Bear, I did it, didn’t I?” Trevor pokes Jeremy in the shoulder. “Stephany! I made Jeremy blush!” Steffie looks at them in the rearview mirror.

“Oh?” She smirks. “Is that why he was so pink a few minutes ago?”

“I will strangle you.” Jeremy whispers into Trevor’s ear.

“Kinky.” Trevor whispers back, catching Jeremy’s hand mid swing and cradling it against his chest. “You’re the best, Jeremy.”

“You too, man.” Jeremy ruffles Trevor’s hair with his free hand. 

However, Trevor does not get to beat Jeremy’s ass at anything because they end up being put on the same team during paintball. This, though, does not stop them from completely destroying Cole and Steffie, so much so that they look accurately drenched in rainbows of paint when they step out of the arena. Trevor and Jeremy exchange a perfectly acceptable victory high five, and then with some shouted urging from Cole, a perfectly acceptable victory kiss, before they pile back into Steffie’s car and try desperately to find some place for a late lunch.

Eventually they end up in a very hip, new wave, mostly chrome diner and Cole is once again back in his habit of pointing french fries at people.

“Please stop.” Jeremy requests, wiping a glob of thrown ketchup from his cheek. “Trevor? You okay, man?” Trevor looks up from the napkin in his hands which he was slowly tearing into tinier and tinier pieces.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” Trevor sets down the napkin pieces next to his plate. “I just had something to tell you.”

“What’s up, Chuck?” Steffie asks, her voice controlled and even, but she is biting her lip. After knowing her for a while, Jeremy can see her tells when she’s nervous.

“I, um, I got an offer to do an art exhibition?” Trevor offers. Steffie breaks out into a grin.

“That’s great! Oh my God, little artist Trevor!” She reaches across the table to punch Trevor’s shoulder lightly. “You’ve grown up so quickly!”

“That’s really amazing.” Jeremy smiles at his boyfriend. “That’s fucking… Wow.”

“That’s uber cool, man.” Cole grins. “I was worried that you were going to tell us that you’re dying.” Trevor smiles and shakes his head. 

“I do want to do paintings of you guys, though. They’d- I feel like they’d fit in well.” Trevor says. “With like, the theme and everything.”

“That’d be amazing!” Steffie nods, vigorously. “I’m so proud of my son. You’ve come so far from making webcomics and posting them online.” Trevor blanches visibly.

“How did you find out about that?” Trevor asks. Steffie gasps.

“I didn’t! Trevor! How could you!” She is grinning and Trevor swats at her shoulder. “You small weeb. Tiny, tiny weeb child.”

“I’m not that much of a weeb.” Trevor says, softly. Jeremy puts his hand on his shoulder.

“Steffie, you’ve hurt my weebie boyfriend. I can’t take this anymore.” Jeremy stands up and gently pushes Trevor from the booth. “We are going to go to his dorm and watch bad anime and you can’t stop us.” The bell above the door rings out as it shuts behind them.

“Are we actually leaving?” Trevor asks.

“No turning back now.” Jeremy grins. “I’ll race you.”

“What a joke.” Trevor snorts and then Jeremy just takes off running. Trevor catches up to him easily, but keeps a modest pace and jogs next to Jeremy the whole way.

They end up tumbling into Trevor’s dorm, breathless and laughing. Jordan just looks up at them from the sofa.

“If you think I’m a weeb, you’ve never met Jordan.” Trevor teases. “He likes anime.”

“I mean, not really?” Jordan offers, confused. “I appreciate it as an artstyle and the effects it has had on the art community as a whole, but I don't really seek it out.”

“You want to watch some really horrible anime with us?” Jeremy asks.

“Sure.” Jordan nods. “I know some really bad ones.” He holds his hands up as Trevor looks at him suspiciously. “I found them on Reddit, trust me! They should be horrible.”

“Does it have robots?” Jeremy asks as Trevor begins to rifle through the cabinets .

“Some of it does.” Jordan nods.  

“Found it!” Trevor pulls a few packets of microwaveable popcorn from the cupboard. “Let’s go make us some corn.”

There are two girls in the common kitchen, dancing around the microwave in their pajamas, even though it was only six. They pause when they see the three men enter.

“Hi.” The taller one offers. “We’ll be out of your hair in a minute.”

“Take your time.” Trevor shakes his head. 

“I’m Elyse.” The shorter one points at the taller one. “This is Barbara.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” Jordan offers. 

“Nice to meme you too.” Barbara smirks and Elyse groans.

“Please stopp. You really don’t need to bring up memes every time we meet someone new.” Elyse instructs.

“I love memes.” Trevor nods. “Nice pun, by the way.” 

“Yes!” Barbara crows. “Someone appreciates my puns!”

The five get to talking and by the time the timer on the microwave has gone off for the popcorn, they’re fast friends. Elyse and Barb take the three up on their offer for a horrible anime session, which devolves into sarcastic commentary, which devolves into puns, which devolves into Barbara trying to throw popcorn into everyone’s mouths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sweetness. any guesses on what's going on between Barb and Elyse? also, school is over for me!!! and the cute person i like is talking to me!!! it's been an okay day!!!  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	22. cocaine

“C’mon, Jeremy, you’ve got to at least tell me where you’re taking me.” Trevor slides easily into the passenger seat of Jeremy’s car. “Shotgun.”

“You don’t need to do shotgun when we’re the only two people in the car.” Jeremy shakes his head. “Weirdo.”

“Is that a hint about the place we’re going?” Trevor asks. “Someplace weird? Freaky? Strange or out there?”

“I mean, it could be considered that. I guess?” Jeremy shrugs. “I don’t know, I just thought that it looked cool and you’d like it.”

“Is it an art museum?” Trevor guesses again. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but if it’s anywhere around here, I have most definitely been to it. Twice. Nope, scratch that, at least three times.”

“You are such an art kid.” Jeremy teases.

“Well, yeah.” Trevor shrugs. “That’s what I’m at college for.”

“Shut up, really?” Jeremy gasps. “No way! I thought you got that art exhibit because of your looks.”

“They may or may not have played a factor.” Trevor pulls an exaggerated pose, difficult to do in a small car, but he does it anyway.

Eventually, eventually, they pull into a small, roped off parking area and Trevor basically jumps out of the car.

“I was not expecting this.” Trevor admits, taking in the scene spread out before him. “I was expecting pretty much anything but this. I didn’t even know there was one around here!”

“It travels.” Jeremy explains. “I probably should have asked this before, but, uh, are you scared of clowns or something?”

“I may or may not have punched a clown in the face when I was five.” Trevor presses his lips together to hold back a smile. “But I’ll be fine, they’re not too horrifying, and my punch has gotten a lot better.”

“Oh, of course.” Jeremy puts an arm around Trevor’s shoulders.

“Of course.” They enter the fairgrounds together, instantly being met by the smell of fried foods and the straw covering the dirt earth.

“Have you ever been to one before?” Jeremy wonders, sidestepping a pack of small children. Trevor shakes his head. 

“No, never. My parents didn’t like stuff like this, thought it was frivolous.” Trevor explains.

“What about the clown that you punched, then? Did you just find a wild one?” Jeremy smirks.

“That was at my birthday party.” Trevor grins. “That was pretty much the only year my parents showed any interest in the whole birthday thing and I think the clown punching ruined it for them. All in all, not the worst birthday I’ve ever had.”

“There are worse ones than that?” Jeremy asks.

“There was the time my parents reported me as a runaway so I got put in a holding cell.” Trevor shakes his head. “They hadn’t heard me the night before when I told them I’d be staying at a friend’s house, or so they told me. Oh, a shooting game! I’m going to win you something!” Trevor picks up the toy gun from it’s resting place.

“You sure?” The woman behind the stand smiles easily. “This is a hard game, I wouldn’t want you to embarrass yourself.” Trevor gives her a tight smile before firing three shots, each hitting the small targets dead on.

“I think I’m good, but thank you anyway.” Trevor tousles Jeremy’s hair. “What did I win for you?”

“That snake.” Jeremy decides and the woman hands it over to him, rolling her eyes. “It’s so cuddly. And soft.” Jeremy wraps the plushie around his shoulders like a scarf. “I love it.”

“I’m so glad.” Trevor presses a light kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead and ignores the annoyed scoff of the woman behind the counter. “Okay, let’s go get funnel cake! C’mon, c’mon!” Jeremy laughs and is dragged behind Trevor as they weave through the different vendor stalls.

“Happy now?” Jeremy asks, holding the warm paper plate between them. “Is it just as good as you imagined?”

“I mean, not really.” Trevor says. “It’s weirdly wet? I don’t know, man.”

“That’s grease, Trevor.” Jeremy rolls his eyes. “Normally the powdered sugar absorbs most of it?”

“Oh, you mean this stuff?” Trevor quickly wipes his hands on Jeremy’s, leaving smears of powdered sugar across his palms and fingers. “Geez, now you just look like you really, really like cocaine.” Jeremy chuckles.

“Oh, really?” Jeremy swipes at Trevor’s face, smearing powder on Trevor’s nose and cheeks. “Now you look like a druggie, too.”

“You are what you eat.” Trevor says, nodding. Jeremy raises an eyebrow.

“You eat druggies?” Jeremy asks. “Wow, I thought we’d already decided that Cole was the cannibal in our lives. I’m not sure if I can deal with two.”

“Oh, shut up.” Trevor rolls his eyes. “Come on, go on the ferris wheel with me.” If they kiss at the top of the ferris wheel like a straight couple in a cliche movie, no one needs to know.

It’s dark when they get back to the city, and neither of them are quite ready to sleep, so they walk through the streets hand in hand. They walk over the pavement, past late night cafes and through light puddled on the sidewalk, falling sluggishly from flickering street lights.

“Do you want to move in together?” Trevor asks and Jeremy pauses. Trevor takes a few more steps before looking back at him.

“What?” Jeremy finally manages to get out and Trevor flushes.

“What? I mean, we don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” Trevor says, far too quickly. “I understand if you don’t, I really do. I just- I just thought that it might be nice, you know, sharing the same space, but that’s not for everybody, I know that! It’s fine if you do-”

“I’d love to move in with you.” Jeremy cuts Trevor off mid-sentence. Trevor smiles widely at him. “How, though? We both live in the dorms.”

“I, uh, my grandfather left me a lot of money.” Trevor explains. “Like, a lot. And an estate house. My whole family is pretty wealthy, but my parents hate me…? I don’t know, I thought we could use some of it to buy an apartment.”

“Trevor, I would love to live with you.” Jeremy presses a kiss to Trevor’s cheek. “I would be so incredibly honoured.

“I- I do have bad days, though. Really bad days. You’d have to put up with me during them.” Trevor says, wringing his hands.

“I would never put up with you.” Jeremy shakes his head and Trevor looks down, crestfallen. “I’d do my best to make sure you were comfortable and knew that I cared about you.”

“Well, then.” Trevor smiles. “Why don’t we start looking at apartments?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayy lookie there. Any guesses on how many chapters are left? they're all planned out.  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	23. stars

“Well, how about that second one we saw?” Jeremy asks, pointing his milkshake laden straw at Trevor, who leans back against the red plastic of the booth they’re sitting in.

“I don’t know, man.” Trevor shakes his head. “The painting in the kitchens was atrocious. Plus, no open floor plan! Are they monsters? And who even does dark wood flooring anymore?”

“You really, really should stop watching House Hunters.” Jeremy smiles. “Really, though, I actually need your thoughts on this.”

“It was weird.” Trevor says, decisively. “Too big, too empty. I didn’t- I don’t- Big houses really aren’t my favourite. Like, I can deal for a bit, but for a more permanent time, no thanks. Bad memories, man.” 

“Well, how ‘bout the first one?” Jeremy questions. “It was nice and right next to Steffie’s building. It wasn’t too small and there was that nice nook that you could paint in. And then the third one, that one was just aesthetic as fuck. Like, a really nice apartment.”

“It was pretty.” Trevor admits. “I liked the splashes of colour. They were really well put.”

“Hey, how’re my favourite gay guys?” The pair look up to see Barb, red straw between her teeth. “Mind if I sit with you?”

“Not at all.” Trevor slides over, pressing his side against the wall to make room for her. “Maybe you can help us with this apartment predicament.”

“Ooh, you two are moving in together?” Barb smiles. “That’s sweet. You guys are cute. I can totally help. What’re the listings?” They run through the options with her and she won’t stop making Property Brothers jokes and Trevor is delighted. When they finish talking, she just shakes her head. “I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious. The first one sounds perfect for you guys.”

“We’re so stupid.” Jeremy groans. “And bad at this. We should have figured it out days ago. Thanks, Babs.”

“Anything to help the fellow queers, man.” Barbara tips her milkshake towards him in a salutation. “Promise to invite me and Elyse over to hang out sometimes, though? I mean, screw the other people, am I right?” She rolls her eyes. “No, really, though, we should hang out. Oh! Why don’t you come to this student mixer tonight? I know the hosts.”

“That’s not really our scene.” Jeremy shakes his head.

“I don’t know.” Trevor shrugs. “I could totally be a party person if I wanted to be.”

“You like books more than people, Trevor.” Jeremy reminds and Trevor just clicks his tongue. “I mean, so do I, but you’re like weirdly obsessive about it.”

“Aw, please!” Barbara clasps her hands together. “You have to go to some parties during college or you didn’t go to college at all. Please, please, please.” Jeremy shoots a glance at Trevor, silently checking for permission. Trevor just shrugs and nods.

“Fine, fine.” Jeremy concedes. “We will try it. Keyword there being try.”

“Nice!” Barb pumps her fist in the air. “I’ve already got some people that I think you now to come, so I think you’ll be good on socializing. It’ll be good for you two to get out there, though, meet some people, chat it up.”

“Yeah, because we’re so good at social interaction.” Trevor rolls his eyes. “But we’ll try, okay, Babs? That good enough?”

“Perfect.” Barbara grins.

When they arrive at the house Barb had texted them the address to, the music is already loud and the flashing lights are visible through the windows. The house is packed, crammed full of college students all in some variation of motion.

“What exactly are we supposed to do here?” Trevor leans close to Jeremy so he can hear him.

“I don’t know.” Jeremy shakes his heads. “Just hang out, I guess?” He shrugs. “There’s Barb.” Jeremy tilts his head to the blond, currently pressing Elyse against the wall and kissing her collarbone. “Did she- Did she dye her hair since we saw her?”

“I think so.” Trevor squints. “But it looks good, the pink.”

“Really? It looks more purple.” Jeremy shrugs. “She, uh, she looks kind of busy. Should we find somebody else?”

“Probably.” Trevor snorts. “C’mon, this way.” Trevor leads Jeremy on a winding path through the people, almost tripping a few times. Jeremy pauses, patting Trevor on the shoulder.

“Isn’t that Ryan?” Jeremy asks, motioning to the familiar sandy blonde on the couch, a dark, floppy haired man sitting on his lap and passionately kissing him.

“Well, they’re cute.” Trevor nods. “It’s good that Rye’s got somebody to hang out with. The kitchens this way.” So, they end up in the kitchen, drinking horrible, off brand soda and trying not to get roped into making drinks or talking to drunk people.

“This is- Well, it’s different.” Jeremy shrugs. “What’s the point of getting drunk?”

“Hell if I know.” Trevor shrugs. “I don’t like it, I don’t drink, anyways.”

“Me neither.” Jeremy nods. “I mean, I know people love it. And I know people love parties like this, but I just don’t.”

“You want to get out of here?” Trevor asks and together they make their escape, back to the city streets in Jeremy’s car.

“Let’s leave the city.” Jeremy suggests. “I’ve had enough of man-made lights for a while. What do you think?”

“I’m down for it.” Trevor nods. “Somewhere pretty, though? Please?”

“Oh, I know a few places.” Jeremy says and he drives them out of the city, away from the tall buildings and into the sparse trees.

They end up sitting on the still-warm hood of Jeremy’s car in the middle of a field and looking at the stars.

“I used to be in the Boy Scouts.” Jeremy confides. “So I know a lot of the constellations. That one there? Ursa Minor.”

“Oh, yeah? I never learned them.” Trevor shakes his head. “I think they’re kind of dumb, though. They don’t look like what they’re supposed to. I can make better ones.”

“Oh, really?” Jeremy smirks at his boyfriend. “Try.”

“There’s a box over there.” Trevor gestures vaguely at the sky. “And a triangle over there. And a- a- I don’t know, man. This is hard! Stars weren’t created in patterns.”

“Do you want me to show them to you?” Jeremy laughs and Trevor nods, so Jeremy begins sectioning off the sky and going through the constellations. He’s halfway through Leo when he realizes Trevor isn’t looking at the sky, he’s looking at him. “Is something wrong?”

“You have stars in your eyes.” Trevor breathes and there is a pregnant pause hanging heavy in the air and it seems to affect everything because the crickets have ceased their chirping. Jeremy brushes his thumb over Trevor’s cheek.

“You want to make out on my car?” Jeremy whispers and Trevor grins.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> looky there! another chapter! don't worry though, it won't be this sweet for much longer, some stuff is gonna happen.  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	24. eggs

They move into the apartment two weeks later, boxes stacked to the ceiling and tearful goodbyes said to their former roommates. Trevor turns out to be really good at uncluttering so soon the boxes are unpacked and Jeremy is carefully arranging everything into their new home. And it’s blissful, they’re inside the bubble, and everything is fine, better than fine, until it’s not.

Jeremy wakes up early one morning, dawn not quite breaching the blankets of night that shroud the city outside of their windows, and he gets up, quietly as to not wake Trevor who is sleeping so soundly. He pads in sock feet into the kitchen, the vase of sunflowers on the counter replacing the sun. He cooks breakfast, nothing extravagant, just eggs and he throws together a couple of biscuits and the coffee is brewing slowly in the percolator. It’s nice, a homey feel that is completely new to him, and he loves it. 

The eggs are sizzling on the pan when Trevor walks slowly into the kitchen, bags under his eyes dark and pronounced, making him appear older. He doesn’t say anything, just quietly slides a stool out from under the counter and sits down. Jeremy passes him a mug of coffee, which he takes slowly.

“Are you okay?” Jeremy asks, furrowing his eyebrows. “Do you need something?”

“Bad day.” Trevor says, softly, as if the words could break the air. Jeremy goes to rub his shoulder and Trevor leans away. “Don’t touch me. Sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Jeremy shakes his head slightly. “It’s fine, I understand. Do you want some eggs.”

“No, thanks.” Trevor presses his lips together. “Nothing’s going to stay down right now.”

“Okay, alright.” Jeremy wrings his hands because he is worried, God damn it. “Do you want something to drink? Black coffee? Orange juice?”

“Can I have some water please?” Trevor asks and Jeremy puts a glass next to him in seconds. Trevor takes a single small sip before leaning forward and pressing the side of his head against the counter. Jeremy just kind of stands there, unsure of what to do, and the eggs that he made go cold. He can’t tell if Trevor is asleep or not.

Sunlight is pouring through the windows by the time Trevor gets up. He moves blearily from the kitchen into the small art nook kind of in the living room. He sits there, occasionally dabbing at the canvas in front of him with flecks of paint. Jeremy watches him for a few moments before casually putting on The Great British Baking Show. He recalls Jordan having it on on one of Trevor’s bad days before, so maybe it’ll help this time. Jeremy gets out his laptop and begins trying to write a paper for one of his more fun classes. He doesn’t get very far into why Sylvia Plath was very important because he keeps glancing over at Trevor, who seems very absent, eyes dull, motion sluggish. He puts away his laptop and moves to stand behind Trevor, partly to look at what he is painting and partly to catch him if he slides off the chair anymore.

The painting is amazing, detailed as all get out. It’s of one of the many pictures they took of each other not too long after their big fight. Jeremy is laughing and Trevor is grinning, smile plastered upon his face.

“That’s really good.” Jeremy compliments. “I like it a lot.” Trevor looks up, seemingly noticing Jeremy’s presence for the first time, then looks back towards the painting.

“It’s not that good.” Trevor dips his brush into a small jar of water, letting the inky blackness dispel. “It’s not the best I could have done. It’s going to have to go up in the exhibit, though, I won’t have time to do anything else. Fuck, it’s soon, isn’t it?” This is the most that Jeremy’s heard Trevor talk all day, but it’s the bad kind of talking, the too quick, rushing kind. “What am I going to do? What am I going to do? I just should have never accepted, they should have given it to somebody else.” Trevor’s hands are tangled in his hair and Jeremy is still standing behind him, caught between comforting his boyfriend or obeying his wishes and not touching him. And then Trevor slides to the floor, chair slipping out from under him, and Trevor is panicking. Jeremy kneels down, and steadies his breathing, saying reassuring things over and over, all the while clenching his fists so he doesn’t accidentally touch Trevor. Trevor tries to follow his lead, struggling to breath, but eventually he does and he calms down, down, down. Jeremy’s hands are still hovering in the air and he goes to move them away, but Trevor catches them in his own.

“Please.” His voice is quiet, barely above a whisper. “Touch me.” Jeremy blinks.

“Yeah, sure. Anything.” Jeremy wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders and traces shapes on the skin of his neck. Trevor is saying something, mumbling things that Jeremy can’t understand so he just sits there, Trevor half laid across his lap.

“I’m sorry.” Trevor says, eventually. “It’s a- It’s a really bad day.”

“I know.” Jeremy smiles. “I know.”

“They happen.” Trevor bites his lip. “And it’s horrible when they do. If you don’t want to go through this again, I understand. I do, promise.”

“Trevor, if you think I could just up and leave you, you’re sorely mistaken.” Jeremy shakes his head. “I care about you, you know?” Trevor snorts.

“I hope so, otherwise this would be really kind of awkward.” Trevor smiles, a small smile in contrast to the one he has in the painting.

Jeremy eventually convinces Trevor to move to the couch, so they sit there, Trevor lapsing in and out of sleep and Jeremy just watching his boyfriend.

The sun falls from the sky oddly quickly and Jeremy isn’t sure if he fell asleep at one point or not. He makes instant mac and cheese for dinner and they both fall asleep on the thought that tomorrow will most definitely be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sadness, i'm sorry. but!!! next chapter is sweet and adorable and lovely so maybe that'll make up for this  
> have an idea for the story? comment!  
> have compliments for the story? comment!  
> have a prompt you want me to write? comment!


	25. goose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Texting!!!  
> Snail Snail Snail - Steffie!!!  
> TheWorldIsBlue - Jordan!!!  
> Cole - Cole.

“What are you looking at?” Trevor asks, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders. Jeremy jumps slightly and his phone slips out of his hands, landing with a clatter face down on the counter.

“Well, fuck.” Jeremy says, looking at his phone. He picks it up slowly and sighs with relief when he sees that it’s not cracked. “Oh, thank god. Wait, what did you ask me?”

“I asked what you were looking at.” Trevor says, untangling himself from Jeremy to pour himself a glass of orange juice.

“Oh, nothing. I’m not looking at anything.” Jeremy shakes his head and Trevor raises an eyebrow. “I mean, not anything important. Okay, fine, I just, I think it might be too early to tell you this…?”

“Jeremy, we literally live together.” Trevor reassures him. “I’m pretty sure we’re good.” Jeremy bites his lip.

“I think we should get a dog.” He says, suddenly. “Like, they’re nice and I’ve been reading up on them and they’re supposed to help with anxiety which is good and they’re all kind of great.”

“Jeremy.” Trevor laughs. “You don’t need to convince me on why dogs are good. I love dogs. I’m totally down for getting one.”

“Yeah?” Jeremy perks up. “Really?”

“I mean, we have the space for one.” Trevor gestures to the apartment together. “Now c’mon, the crew is going to be here soon.

And soon enough, they arrive, somehow managing to coordinate their schedules so they all crash Jeremy and Trevor’s apartment at the same time. It’s a matter of minutes before they set up the wii and are playing a friendly, spirited round of Mario Kart. 

“I will fucking end you!” Cole yells, flailing his hand in Jordan’s face, trying to distract him. “End you so much! One more fucking red shell and your body will be on the floor.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Jordan rolls his eyes. “As if you cou- Oh, fuck you, Jeremy!”

“I’m really quite good.” Jeremy chuckles, tossing a greenshell behind him. Cole tosses his hands in the air as he gets hit. 

“You having fun, Trevor?” Steffie asks, calmly turning the remote in her hands.

“Oh, yes.” Trevor snorts. “I’m quite glad I volunteered to sit out.”

“Mario Kart is a bloody, bloody game.” Steffie shakes her head. 

“Mario Kart is a sport, you uncultured swine!” Cole shouts. Steffie rolls her eyes as she crosses the finish line first.

“Nice job, Steff.” Jeremy says, begrudgingly.

“Another round?” Cole asks and it begins again. Halfway through, Jeremy decides to tell them about the exciting new development of Jeremy and Trevor.

“We’re going to get a dog.” Jeremy announces, knocking into the side of Jordan’s cart.

“Nice distraction tactic.” Jordan says, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“No, really.” Trevor says. “A dog is the next step.”

“Get a Border Collie.” Steffie advises. “I used to have one. Super, super sweet dogs. They’ll just kind of be there, there as in everywhere. It’s great.”

“No, no, no.” Cole protests. “Absolutely not. I refuse to let you get a border collie. They are small bundles of energy and you don’t need that. They’re good for sporty people, but not you. Definitely not you. Get a Schipperke.”

“Gesundheit.” Jordan says, immediately.

“No, a Schipperke.” Cole shakes his head. “They’re beautiful. All black and foxy and super smart. Like really, so, so smart. They just kind of trot everywhere and they’re really chill. Kind of expensive for a pure bred, though, but definitely worth the money.”

“They’re both wrong.” Jordan chimes in. “Get an Akita. They look kind of like Shibas, but they’re bigger. And fluffier. They make great guard dogs and they’re really just kind of great. They’re aggressive too, but only towards strangers. But really, they are two hundred percent fluff.”

“Dog people.” Trevor says, clicking his tongue. “How do you do it?”

Eventually it gets late and the three leave, each giving final amazing points about their suggested dog of choice.

And then at theatre club the next day, it is brought up again.

“So.” Cole claps his hands. “It’s movie day. Yay! And I brought in a personal favourite because I can’t trust any of you after The Bee Movie incident. You know who I’m talking about. All of you. All of you horrible, bee loving people. Eugh, how can you? So, enough of me talking.” Someone in the seats cheers and Cole glares out into the dim darkness, but is unable to see who it was. “Let’s watch the movie.” The word Shiloh fades into view on the projector scene and there follows a solid hour and a half of heartbreak. Cole stands up again at the end. “So, my friends, Trevor and Jeremy, are adopting a dog and they won’t take my advice that Schipperkes are the best dogs ever.”

“Oh, no they’re not!” Meg protests. “Two words: Labrador Retrievers! Best dogs in the world! Are you hearing this, you two? Labs, get a Lab!” Ryan rolls his eyes.

“Get a Corgi.” And that’s all Ryan has to say on the matter.

The next day, motivated by the want to end the dog debate, Jeremy and Trevor drive to the rescue shelter, searching for their new dog. When they walk through the doors, they’re greeted by Caleb.

“Hey, guys!” Caleb grins. “What’re you doing here?”

“We’ve come to adopt a dog.” Trevor explains. “Wait, do you work here? I mean, I could understand why, you seem to like dogs.

“Nah, I don’t work here. I found this little dude in an alley.” He unzips his jacket a little bit and pulls a small puppy from an inside pocket. “I couldn’t leave her there, so I had to bring her here. I don’t have room for her, sadly.”

“Oh. My. God.” Trevor takes her from Caleb’s arms. “What type is she? She’s so pretty.” The puppy snuffles against Trevor’s neck.

“I think that she’s an Australian Shepherd.” Caleb guesses. “Judging on her colours and everything. They’re a great type of dog.” Trevor turns to his boyfriend.

“Jeremy, we gotta.” Trevor says, holding up the puppy as Jeremy rubs her chin.

“I suppose she is sweet.” Jeremy admits. “And I kind of love her. Caleb, do you mind if I take her?”

“Not at all!” Caleb smiles. “I’d worry about her if she was in the shelter, y’know? I’m glad she’s going with you.”

_ You (2:46):  _ dogdogdog.jpeg

**_TheWorldIsBlue (2:46): you didn’t_ **

Snail Snail Snail (2:47): i think he did. Cute tho, so nice job there.

_ Cole (2:47): Okay, I don’t see a Schipperke. _

_ You (2:48): We think that she’s an Australian Shepherd. _

_ Cole (2:48): You have my begrudging compliments. _

**_TheWorldIsBlue (2:49): Name it Oswald_ **

Snail Snail Snail (2:49) Skippy Smooth: The Best Peanut Butter Ever

_ Cole (2:49): Sugar Cube!!! _

**_TheWorldIsBlue (2:50): Azure_ **

_ Cole (2:50): Earl Grey _

Snail Snail Snail (2:51): Snuffalupagus

_ You (2:53): We named her Goose. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see? sweetness to make up for the sad. i did promise, after all.  
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	26. boss ass bitch

Spring break comes sooner than either of them anticipated and they are laying on the couch, no plans to speak of. Goose is getting fur all over Jeremy’s shirt and the couch. It’s an odd silence that they sit in, each thinking their own thoughts in their own separate entirety.

“Do you want to go up to that estate house my grandfather left me?” Trevor asks, suddenly, breaking the silence as if it was frosted glass.

“I thought you hated big houses.” Jeremy says. Goose snuffles. 

“Only living in them.” Trevor explains. “Like, just being in them for a while doesn’t bother me too much.”

“Oh.” And Jeremy falls silent. “Only if you want to.”

“C’mon, man.” Trevor wheedles. “You’ll get to meet my boss ass bitch. She is literally the best person you will ever meet in your entire life.”

“But I’ve met you!” Jeremy protests and Trevor just rolls his eyes. “But yes, I’d love to meet your boss ass bitch.”

They leave the next morning, Goose sleeping in between Trevor’s feet, bags piled onto the backseat. They drive the whole day, occasionally switching the driver and the passenger, but the roads seem to continue forever as the sky grows lighter and lighter and then darker and darker.  It’s late when they get to the house and Jeremy’s first thought is that it’s kind of creepy, tall and towering, secluded in the woods. It’s a lot like Trevor’s old mansion in the woods, maybe that’s why he likes it so much. 

“Stop gawking.” Trevor whispers, shifting the sleeping Goose in his arms. “Can you get the bags?” So Jeremy does and Trevor opens the towering door for both of them. 

“Hello.” Someone says and Jeremy drops a suitcase on his foot.

“Fucking Christ.” Jeremy hisses, hopping up and down on one foot.

“James!” Trevor smiles. “I didn’t know you were still here!”

“Oh, yeah, I’m perfectly okay, thank you.” Jeremy says, sarcastically, picking up the bag again. The man in front of them smiles.

“Yes, Trevor. Your grandfather, he said in his will that we were allowed to stay.” The man, James, smiles. “He even encouraged it, his only condition was that the house couldn’t fall into disrepair. He gave us all a lot of money, enough so we could all leave if we wanted to. He was- He was a good man, Trevor. You’ve grown up to be a lot like him.” Trevor smiles sadly and James looks over at Jeremy. “Is this the boyfriend you told me about?”

“Yes!” Trevor says, excitedly. “James, Jeremy. Jeremy, James.”

“Nice to meet you.” Jeremy nods. 

“You as well, Jeremy. I’m glad you called ahead, Trevor.” James looks back at the tallest of the three. “There’s a bedroom prepared at the top of the stairs.” The two bid their goodnights and start up the stairs. 

“Who was that?” Jeremy asks once they’re in the privacy of the bedroom.

“Hm? Oh, that was James.” Trevor says.

“That doesn’t really clear anything up.” Jeremy responds, perplexed, and Trevor laughs.

“He used to be the butler when my grandfather lived here, but I guess he still is.” Trevor explains. “I used to spend as much time as I could here and James has been here for as long as I can remember. He’s more family than a lot of my family, kind of a slightly distant uncle, really.”

“Oh.” Jeremy says. “That’s cool. Your grandfather sounds cool, too.”

“Thanks.” Trevor smiles at the floor. “He was. Very cool. Do you want to go to bed? I think Goose has beaten us to it.” The dog is curled upon the blankets.

When Jeremy wakes up the next morning, Trevor isn’t in bed, so very, very blearily, Jeremy makes his way to the kitchen without falling over anything. Trevor is standing at the stove, singing something under his breath, spatula in one hand.

“Good morning, love.” Jeremy says, kissing Trevor lightly on the cheek. “Sleep well?”

“Very well.” Trevor smiles. “James has kidnapped Goose somewhere. He kept calling her his granddaughter.”

“Oh, really?” Jeremy asks and Trevor nods.

“Yeah. What do you want in your omelet?” Trevor questions as Jeremy searches the fridge for juice.

“Anything, I don’t care.” Jeremy shrugs and he pours two glasses of apple juice before handing one to Trevor. “James seems nice. You said that he was around here for as long as you remember?” Trevor pauses, then begins to laugh. “Trevor? You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Trevor nods. “I just realized that James and my grandfather were probably romantically involved. Oh my God, this is great. I love this so much.”

They eat their omelets in the tidy kitchen and begin to explore the house, it looks more like Trevor’s mansion on the inside. Trevor tells Jeremy stories about each room they pass through. They somehow wind up in a large parlor-esque room with a fireplace and lots of pictures on the wall and mantle. Before Jeremy can move to inspect them, Trevor slams one down onto the stone of the mantle, the glass of the frame crunching beneath his palm. 

“Christ, Trevor!” Jeremy exclaims, rushing over to him. “Are you okay?” Trevor turns his hand up, the picture crumpled inside his fist, not visible, and blood wells up around it. And then Trevor is breathing too quickly and sliding onto the floor. 

“You can’t see it.” Trevor wheezes. “You can’t see it, you can’t.”

“The picture?” Jeremy clarifies. “I won’t look at it, I promise.”

“You can’t.” Trevor shakes his head, voice choked. “You can’t, you can’t, you can’t.” And Jeremy instructs Trevor to breathe with him, it’s okay, he won’t look at the picture, until eventually Trevor isn’t panicking, but he is still bleeding. Jeremy guides Trevor, still clutching the picture, into the nearest bathroom and wraps his bleeding hand up neatly in gauze. As promised, he throws the bloody picture away without looking at it. 

Hours later, Trevor is better, more spry, and they’re leaving the house.

“Remember when I told you about the place with the best burgers ever?” Trevor asks. “We’re going there to meet my friend.”

“Cool.” Jeremy says, not bringing up the fact that Trevor said it was too close to his family to ever go to again. “You want to drive this time? Since you know this place?”

“I got you, fam.” Trevor slides into the driver’s seat and groans. “Mr. Tiny Legs, your seat is so far up, I swear to God.”

They get to the place very quickly and Jeremy isn’t sure if Trevor was speeding or not. Trevor takes Jeremy’s hand and leads him into the old-school diner, bell above the door ringing as they enter.

“Trevor!” Somebody barrels into Trevor and wraps their arms around his body as he laughs.

“Hi, Maggie.” Trevor says, voice gentle and reminiscent. “God, it’s been forever.” Maggie lets him go.

“Only eight months.” Maggie grins and looks at Jeremy. “Is this the guy?”

“Yes!” Trevor nods. “Maggie, this is Jeremy. Jeremy, this is Maggie.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you.” Jeremy says, shaking her hand.

“Oh? Good things, I hope.” A smirk spreads across her face.

“He broke your arm and you asked him out.” Jeremy offers and Maggie nods.

“That sums me up pretty well.” She leads them over to a booth. “I ordered for both of you, I hope you don’t mind. Classic burger and fries.”

“Mags, I literally love you.” Trevor shakes his head. “If I wasn’t very, very gay and perfectly content in my relationship, I would kiss you.” Maggie rolls her eyes.

“Do you really put up with him every day?” Maggie asks Jeremy.

“I mean, yeah. He’s pretty fun to be around.” Jeremy says and Maggie nods.

“That he is, Jeremy, that he is.” Maggie’s gaze switches back over to Trevor. “God, you look so manly.” Trevor grins. “Are your meds still working?”

“Yeah, mostly.” Trevor nods. “I had an attack this morning.” Maggie’s expression darkens.

“Oh, there were pictures, weren’t there?” She asks and Trevor nods. “Get rid of them?”

Trevor nods again. Their food comes and okay, it is definitely the best burger Jeremy has ever had in his entire life. There’s casual conversation as they eat, a lot of catching up and getting to know each other.

“Are you going to see your family?” Maggie questions, voice soft.

“No.” Trevor shakes his head. “It’s not worth the stress, not at all.”

They leave the diner eventually and somehow end up in a park a few blocks away.

“We used to skate on this blacktop.” Maggie points it out to Jeremy. “Such good times. Especially after big tests and stuff, it was so good.”

“Hey, Margaret!” This guy calls from across the park and jogs over to them. “How are you?” Maggie rolls her eyes.

“I’m fine, Kyle.” She says. Kyle’s gaze flickers over Jeremy and Trevor.

“Oh, she’s back.” He says, glaring at Trevor.

“Oh, you motherfucker.” Maggie spits out as Trevor looks at the ground. “I’m not sure if you remember, numbskull, but  _ Trevor _ almost broke your leg in tenth grade and he can sure as hell do it again.”

“Why are you defending the tranny bitch, Margaret? You used to be cool.” Kyle rolls his eyes.

“Oh, you fucking fucker, I will fucking end you.” Kyle ignores Maggie’s threats and turns to Jeremy, who is standing, frozen.

“So, how do you know the girl, Ter-” Kyle is cut off as Jeremy punches him square in the face. He stumbles back, clutching his nose.

“ _ Trevor _ is my  _ boyfriend _ . Now leave him the fuck alone and go back to your own sad, transphobic life.” Jeremy grabs Trevor’s shoulders and leads him away with Maggie.

“Thanks.” Trevor says, quietly, and Jeremy shakes his head.

“Don’t thank us, it’s what friends are for.” Jeremy rubs Trevor’s hand. Maggie steps in front of Trevor and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Trevor, I hereby give the best friend seal of approval to your boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's Maggie!!!! I love her!!!! She's great!!!! Fuck Kyle!!!! But he's not Kyle Taylor, just a random dude who sucks!!!!  
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	27. dead

Trevor attends the theatre class’s play in a high collar suit with a bouquet of wildflowers under his arm. It goes out almost without a hitch, a beautiful, tragic story that is somehow perfectly encompassing of life, and Jeremy manages not to break his leg or anything else. He delivers his lines with the perfect emotion and Trevor is on the edge of his seat whenever Jeremy walks on stage. And then at the end, when the whole cast bows, Trevor is cheering the loudest.

Trevor finds Jeremy backstage, hopped up on adrenaline, and he hugs him, nearly crushing the flowers between their bodies. Trevor lets him go, sheepishly.

“These are for you.” Trevor hands Jeremy the flowers. Steffie scoffs.

“Oh my God. That’s sweet.” She smacks Cole’s shoulder, lightly. “Why don’t you do anything like that for me?”

“We aren’t dating!” Cole says, bewildered. 

“That’s what they all say.” Steffie shakes her head. “A shame, really. I’m worth everyone’s time.” Cole looks even more freaked out.

“Aren’t you like super gay?” Cole questions. “Aren’t you? And I am, too! Why would we be dating? We are literally not compatible in any way, shape, or form?”

“And that’s why you’re a great friend.” Steffie wraps her arm around Cole’s shoulders. “Also, nice to know that you’re gay. Now I can set you up with people.”

“Oh God, please don’t.” Cole begs. “I’ve never set you up with anybody, c’mon. Don’t violate the sanctity of our friendship.”

“Nope! Can’t hear you!” Steffie sing-songs. “Look, cute theatre guy over here. Come talk to him. Hey, Kyle!”

“Save me.” Cole stage whispers as Steffie drags him away, leaving Jeremy and Trevor standing alone.

“You want to go home?” Jeremy asks and Trevor shrugs.

“Sure.” So they leave, politely declining invitations to go bar-hopping with the rest of the theater crew. As is tradition, Jeremy drives them both home.

“You ready to get out?” Jeremy asks as he turns off the car in the parking garage. Trevor doesn’t answer, so Jeremy sits there in silence for minutes.

“I want to tell you about my family.” Trevor says and Jeremy can see in the darkness that his eyes are closed. “I’ve thought about it, okay? I’m sure, so please don’t try to stop me. My family is upper-class and unreasonably wealthy. I’m not sure how they’re that wealthy, timber or something, I think. I never took much interest. They were, and still are, very strict Roman Catholics and they put me into private religious school as soon as I could start. I only went to public school for high school because I begged, and that’s where I grew really close with Maggie. It was not a very good environment for a trans kid, you know? I was taught that everything I was was bad, that it would get me sent to hell. I was just pure sin and I… I believed it. And my parents, they believed it, would give me lectures about how homosexuality is horrible and it would get me killed, and there was always the unspoken threat that they would be the ones that would kill me. They didn’t believe that my anxiety was a real thing, so they wouldn’t give me meds. It was a shitshow, basically. You know, around middle school, I told them I wanted my hair cut short so I could impress a boy, so they let me cut my hair. I told my grandfather, and he helped me out. I told my parents and it… It did not go well. My mom, she kept throwing holy water at me and chased me out of the house. I wasn’t allowed back. Maggie’s family, they were really nice and they took me in.”

“Oh.” Jeremy says, voice quiet.

“You’d think that that’d be it, right?” Trevor laughs without humor. “But no. My older brother was there and he tried to help, he really did, but no one had any sway with our parents, not even their favourite child. They didn’t know then that he was bi, though. I don’t think they do today. He has to live his fucking life under wraps because they’re fucking insane. He- We don’t talk a lot anymore, we really don’t. He feels bad that he couldn’t make our parents let me stay. He feels guilty about everything, even what happened after they kicked me out, especially what happened after. But I know he’s married to a really nice guy, they live up in Seattle. He does music stuff, I think. I’m not sure. He e-mails me sometimes, usually just to say ‘they’ll be dead soon’. He used to say that to me when we were younger and I’d have a panic attack. I- I miss him, I guess, and it just makes me feel not the best. It doesn’t help that my mom keeps trying to reconnect with her ‘daughter’ and that she sends me cards with the wrong name on them all the time.” There is another moment of silence as Jeremy leans across the car and wraps Trevor in a tight hug.

“C’mon, Trevor, let’s get out of the car.” So they do and Jeremy leads Trevor up the flights of stairs.

He makes them both spaghetti, because it’s simple and quick and comforting, as Trevor sits on the counter, swinging his legs.

“Do you want some orange juice?” Trevor asks and Jeremy snorts.

“Who drinks orange juice with spaghetti?” Jeremy questions Trevor’s logic.

“Lots of people!” Trevor defends himself. “Me, for one! I’m sure at least eight other people do! Maybe even nine! That’s a lot of people, Jeremy.” Jeremy shakes his head.

“I love you.” Jeremy covers his mouth and spins to look at Trevor, who’s staring at him. “Fuck. Let me take that back, please. I wasn’t- It was supposed to be perfect when I said it.”

“I don’t think it’s ever supposed to be perfect.” Trevor smiles. “Besides, I think we did it kind of backwards anyway. People normally say I love you before moving in with each other.”

“Do you?” Jeremy asks. “Do you love me?”

“Jeremy, I love you with my whole heart, more than I love anything else.” Trevor shrugs. “Except maybe Goose.”

“Well, as long as I have the dog, you can’t leave me.” Jeremy says.

“True.” Trevor admits. “But I kind of plan on you keeping the dog for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well damn. i really don't like trevor's parents. and, hey! i probably will not finish this by the set date of June 13th because i think i've got some new chapters to add in, so that's fun. what did you think of this one? ALSO COLE IS GAY AND STEFFIE IS GAY AND STEFFIE WANTS COLE TO GO OUT WITH KYLE AND LITERALLY EVERYONE IS QUEER AND I'M DEBATING GIVING STEFFIE A PARTNER/GIRLFRIEND HELP ME OUT IN THE COMMENTS PLS  
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	28. gay crisis

Someone is knocking on their door at seven thirty in the morning, the sun having finally breached its horizon barrier and spilled across the cityscape. Jeremy, yawning, pulls open the door and Cole tumbles in.

“Jeremy, you’re gay, you’ve got to help me.” Cole grasps at the collar of Jeremy’s loose t-shirt. “Please, Jeremy, you’re my only hope!”

“Stop quoting Star Wars, nerd. And stop hanging on to me, the neighbours are going to think I’m cheating on Trevor.” Jeremy closes the door with a soft bang. “Now, what gay crisis are you having?”

“Did I hear gay crisis?” Trevor pokes his head around the corner. “Oh, Cole’s here. I guess I did, then.”

“That’s just rude.” Cole sniffs and Trevor shrugs, coming fully into the kitchen, wrapping himself around Jeremy and taking the coffee cup from his hands.

“Oh, yeah, sure, that was for you.” Jeremy rolls his eyes. “Alright, Cole, what’s the problem?”

“Okay, so we’ve got that brunch today, right? With our theatre friends?” Cole asks and Jeremy nods.

“Yeah, in like two hours, though.” Jeremy says. “What about it?”

“Kyle’s going to be there.” After Jeremy shrugs at him, Cole continues. “Well, Steffie made me talk to him after the musical, right? And I, like, well, I like him. A lot. He’s cute, I don’t know. I’m getting off track, anyways! We got drinks after the theatre thing and we got a bit, more than a bit, drunk and he kissed me, but then he didn’t bring it up when we saw him next, but he was drunk so maybe he doesn’t remember? And I’m not sure if you can tell, but I’m kind of freaking out a little bit, maybe?” Trevor sets Jeremy’s mug down on the counter with a clink.

“Cole.” Trevor shakes his head slightly. “He probably really likes you. You think he might have forgotten about it? He probably thinks that about you, too. He’s probably freaking out at his friend's’ house, probably Kerry and Miles’, right now and telling them exactly how much you hypothetically might hate him. It’ll all be fine and you two will be super cute together, okay?”

“Damn, you’re so much better at being gay than me.” Jeremy wriggles from Trevor’s grasp to refill his coffee mug.

“What do I do at the brunch, then? I know he’s going to be there, Miles invited us all, so.” Cole takes the now full mug from Jeremy’s hand. “Thanks, friend.”

“Can I have nothing nice in this world?” Jeremy groans.

“You have me. And Goose.” Trevor reminds him. “Alright, Cole, listen up here because for an anxious, asexual person I am somehow good at dating. Or dating vicariously through my friends. Okay, so, just sit next to him at brunch, okay? Talk to him and do whatever the hell you would normally do with one of your friends. Chill for a while. Then! If he talks to you willingly like he will absolutely do, once brunch is done with and everything, ask him out! Go so something that he’d like. Maybe a museum, I feel like he’d be the type or person to like dinosaurs.”

“Okay, okay, good, thank you.” Cole drinks the dregs of his coffee as Jeremy comes over with another cup, his this time. “Oh, thanks, Jeremy, I guess I could go for another cup.” Cole takes the mug from Jeremy. Jeremy sighs and walks out of the room.

Cole stays at their apartment until they have to leave, so they walk there together. The brunch place is nice, half indoor, half outdoor, and it looks like a place you’d take a lot of pictures of to show your friends at a later date. Most of their friends are already sitting at a long table and Kyle beckons Cole over to sit with him, leaving Jeremy and Trevor to sit down across from Ryan and his boyfriend, Jon, who they saw making out at that frat party, if Trevor recalls correctly.

“Do you guys know what the announcement is going to be?” Jon asks and Trevor looks at him.

“There’s an announcement?” Trevor questions.

“I mean, I thought so.” Ryan says. “Why else would Miles and Kerry call the big brunch thing? Well, I guess it could be to hang out with their friends and I definitely thought about that before now.” And then somehow, somehow, they get into a conversation about makeup.

“It’s so dumb!” Jon proclaims. “It doesn’t need to be gendered! Makeup looks good on anybody if it’s done right. I’ve seen boys look cute with makeup, even people off the gender binary.”

“I agree!” Trevor nods, quickly. “I agree so much. Everything is so weirdly gendered. Even colours and colours are literally different for everyone. I hate everything so much.” Jon nods.

“Like, the one of the worst parts of fully transitioning to being a guy was that I’d get weird looks if I wore makeup, and I’m damn good at makeup.” Jon smiles.

“Oh, really? For me it was the weird clothing restrictions, like no skirts or heels, but I’ve kind of gotten over that.” Trevor shrugs.

“Are you trans?” Jon asks and Trevor nods. “Ay, trans bros unite!” They high-five across the table and Ryan fixes his gaze on Jeremy.

“I feel like our boyfriends are going to overthrow us.” Ryan stage-whispers.

“The only thing we will overthrow is cis-normativity!” Jon declares. At the head of the table, Miles stands, tapping a fork against his glass, signalling everyone to fall silent.

“Now, I know you’ve been wondering why we called you here today.” Miles begins and Ryan mouths ‘told you’ at Jon. “And it’s actually a pretty big announcement. My and Kerry’s, our webcomic, got a commercial offer! To be turned into a cartoon distributed over the internet, but with sponsorships and things. So, Kerry and I wanted to offer parts to all of you guys! We sure as hell have enough and you’re all theatre kids, so it’s a perfect fit. And, actually, Trevor, we wanted to ask you if you would be willing to be the head animator?” Everyone’s head swivels and focuses on Trevor.

“Uh, sure? I’ll do it.” Trevor nods. “Sounds fun.”

“And, Jon, Jordan, if you’re up to it, you could take up second leading animating roles?” Kerry offers and the two nod.

“I want to play the token gay kid!” Kyle shouts and Miles shakes his head.

“No! That’s Ryan’s role.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was that! Sorry I took a bit of a break, with everything that's going on right now, I got a bit stressed and decided to take a break from this to work on something else that was kind of calming. but i have a tumblr now - taptaptapping.tumblr.com which is a reference to a fic that isn't out yet! ooh, spoilers. but, yeah, this was a chapter. Also, thanks to the amazing Lackyducks who suggested I use Jon's shopping shenanigans video which I somehow turned into brunch. Also, this is Kyle Taylor, Roosterteeth employee, not the other random transphobic one.  
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	29. love

Trevor’s art exhibit is beautiful and Jeremy hasn’t even seen any of the paintings yet, he’s really just staring at Trevor from across the room, because God damn, Trevor looks good in a tux. There are lights hanging erratically from the ceiling, it must be an artist thing because Jeremy doesn’t understand it, not one bit. Trevor catches his gaze and waves slightly, smiling, before the person he’s talking to drags him away to look at one of his paintings. Steffie taps his shoulder.

“C’mon,  kiddo, let’s go look at the stuff your amazing boyfriend made.” Steffie smiles.

“Please.” Cole adds. “I’ve been watching you stare at him for fifteen minutes. Do you not stare at him when you two are alone or something? I really want to see everything.”

“Yeah, yep. Let’s go look.” Jeremy nods and Steffie literally drags him into the rows of paintings, Trevor’s paintings.

Most of these are new paintings, paintings that Jeremy has never seen before, and the one’s that he’s seen, he’s only seen incomplete versions when Trevor asked for his advice. And now Jeremy understands the lights, they make everything enhanced, the paint, the brush strokes, the feeling. 

The first one they see is called  _ Magic _ , it’s a big painting, huge, stretching across an entire canvas, but it seems to bleed out into the reality around it. It’s hyper realistic, Trevor’s favourite way to paint, a perfect replica of the fox that Jeremy and Trevor saw in Jeremy’s clearing.

“Alright, Jeremy, what’s the story behind this one?” Cole asks and Jeremy blinks.

“We were- Well, Trevor and I walked out into the woods and I showed him this clearing that I found. It was really pretty, covered in snow, and the pool there wasn’t frozen yet.” Jeremy smiles, this is one of his favourite memories. “And then this fox came out of the woods and just stared at us, looked at us like he knew who we were and what we were doing. He let Trevor take some pictures of him and then he ran away.”

“I want a life like that.” Steffie shakes her head. “Animals just coming up to me in the woods like I’m a damn Disney princess.” They move on before Steffie gets too bitter.

_ Warm _ is the title of the next one, a simple painting in light colours, of Cole, Steffie, Jordan, and Jeremy laid out upon a couch, a tangled mess of limbs. Cole might be asleep in it, his eyes are closed and his head tossed back. They move on.

There is a wall of painting, a series entitled  _ love _ , no capitals, no punctuation, and maybe that’s to emphasize how simple it is, how easy, or it might not be. There’s one called  _ Morning _ and it’s Jeremy asleep on their couch, shirt slipping up his stomach, arm draped off the edge of the sofa. There’s  _ Lovelies _ and it’s Jeremy and Goose, Goose caught mid-jump, trying to wrestle a stick from Jeremy’s hand and Jeremy is laughing.  _ Shatter _ and it’s shards of glass on a hardwood floor, pieces of Jeremy’s face reflected in each. It’s dark colours and it seems so sad, so poignant. And then it’s happy again,  _ Lovelies Two, _ and it’s Jeremy and his mother in the kitchen at his parent’s house. Jeremy is covered in flower and his mother is shaking her head, trying to look annoyed, but there is a smile playing on her lips. Behind him, someone clears their throat and Jeremy turns around.

“Do you like it?” Trevor asks and he’s smiling and his is pulling at the edge of his sleeves, he’s nervous.

“I love it.” Jeremy pulls Trevor into a hug. “I love it and I love you.”

“I’m glad.” Trevor presses a kiss to the top of his head. “Okay, I’ve got to go. I’m really sorry, but if I don’t talk to the rich people, the sponsors will get mad at me.”

“Go! Be social!” Jeremy pushes Trevor away, jokingly. “Sell things! Talk about your paintings!” Trevor salutes and disappears into the people. 

“We’re going to go wander around.” Steffie tells Jeremy. “You with us?”

“I’m going to stay here, actually.” Jeremy says and he turns back to study the wall of paintings made by the man he loves. He looks at them, really looks at them, and he can feel the emotion, it’s moving and it’s powerful.

“Excuse me.” A woman next to him says. She’s old, a beauty from a different age, white hair curling around her head, and she is smiling. “Is this you in the paintings?”

“Yeah, it is.” Jeremy nods. “My boyfriend, he painted these. He’s the artist.”

“That’s lovely.” The woman says. “And this is your dog?” She gestures to the painting of him and Goose.

“Her name is Goose.” Jeremy smiles. “My name’s Jeremy.”

“I’m Rose.” Rose shakes his hand. “You are very lucky, you know, to have someone that loves you like this. Most people spend their lives searching for this and few ever find it.”

“I know.” Jeremy says. “I love him. I love him so much.” Rose pats his shoulder, gently.

“I know.” Rose nods. “That’s how I feel about my wife, Margaret. She’s an artist too. When we were younger, she used to paint me, if you get what I mean.” She winks and Jeremy blushes. “I think she’s talking to your boyfriend right now.” She points and she’s right, Trevor is talking to Margaret and laughing. “She’s planning on buying some of these paintings, I believe, to hang up around our house.”

“Well, thank you…?” Jeremy offers and Rose laughs.

“Don’t thank me! These works more than speak for themselves.” Rose smiles and shakes her head. “Your boyfriend seems lovely. If you ever want to go out on a double date with a couple of old women, you should get a hold of me. Rosie O’Connel, Google me, sweetheart. You’ll find me in no time.”

“Is this your way of telling me that you’re famous?” Jeremy asks and Rose winks again.

“Actress, dear. You have to get by in life somehow.” And with that, she walks away, towards her wife, and starts talking to Trevor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rosie is definitely one of my favourite people ever. Seriously. And this story is almost done, wow.  
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	30. perfect

Trevor’s phone rings late at night, noise echoing through the otherwise quiet room. 

“You should get that.” Jeremy groans, pulling the covers further over his face.

“Fuck that, I’m asleep.” Trevor says.

“It might be important. Also, you’re not asleep, you’re obviously awake. And it’s your phone.” Jeremy points out, voice muffled under the blankets as he squirms farther down into the pocket of warmth. Trevor grabs his phone from the bedside table and answers it without looking at the number. Before he can say anything, someone else is talking.

“Tony, Tony, I’m so sorry. Please believe me, I really am.” The person on the other side is sobbing, breaths coming in ragged pants. It’s obviously a wrong number, but Trevor can’t bring himself to hang up. “I can’t do this anymore, I can’t, and I should be able to, but, fuck, everything is hard, Tony. I can’t do anything anymore.” 

“Hey, hey, I’m going to put you on speakerphone with my boyfriend, okay?” Trevor says, tapping Jeremy on the shoulder before pressing a button on the phone. Jeremy sits up, confused.

“You’re not Tony.” The kid says, coming to the realization. “Fuck, I dialed the wrong number, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine!” Trevor assures, quickly. “I’m Trevor, my boyfriend next to me is Jeremy.”

“Hey.” Jeremy greets, “What’s your name?”

“Kdin.” The kid says, voice small. “That’s my name, I’m not, like, coughing or anything, really.”

“Why were you calling Tony?” Trevor asks.

“He’s my best friend.” Kdin says, quietly. “He just- He looks out for me and I thought that he should know that I… That I won’t be around tomorrow.” Jeremy glances at Trevor, who now looks extremely concerned.

“Are you on a roof?” Trevor questions, quickly. “Did you take anything?”

“Yes and then no.” Kdin answers.

“Where are you?” Trevor bites his lip and Jeremy rubs his shoulder.

“Nowhere important.” Kdin says. “Random tall building.”

“Why do you want to jump?” Jeremy asks and Kdin sighs on the other end of the phone.

“It’s complicated and hard to explain.” Kdin sighs again and Trevor can hear the ambient noise of traffic. “It’s like- I mean, I’m trans. Kind of, I prefer female pronouns and that. People don’t respect that and it’s hard when you’re really not that great at passing and it’s- There’s pressure, y’know? Because even if you don’t conform at first, you’re expected to conform to something eventually and it’s so fucking hard. I’m tired of everything and I just need it to stop. I’ve never needed something more.”

“I know what you’re going through, Kdin. I really do.” Trevor says. “I’m trans too and I totally get it. It is hard, you’re right, it’s so hard. But it does get better, even if that sounds cliched. Do you have anybody important to you? Like, I have Jeremy and he’s pretty alright.”

“My girlfriend, Val.” There is a smile audible in Kdin’s words. “She’s so nice and funny and she dyes her hair a lot and it always looks good. She’s amazing and I love her and she’s so fucking good. She’s good at everything. Fuck, I should get off of this roof.”

“Yeah, you should.” Trevor agrees. “You need to live, okay? For Tony and Val. Get some medicine if it works and at the very least, go to a therapist or find somebody to talk to. Talking is hard, but it helps a lot. And save my number, you can talk to me if you want and call me if you’re ever in the same situation, okay? Just keep in touch with me.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Kdin sighs. “Yeah. I’m gonna go crash at Val’s house. Okay, okay, thank you. Thank you, bye.” And she hangs up, leaving the bedroom quiet again. Trevor leans against Jeremy’s shoulder and Jeremy strokes his hair. The silence hangs until Trevor breaks it.

“I tried once.” Trevor says, voice rough.

“Tried what?” Jeremy asks even though he knows the answer.

“To kill myself.” Trevor answers. “I’d just joined public school, but I still had the Catholic idea that I was just pure sin and I’d never go to heaven. It wasn’t good and I couldn’t think of any other way to get out of it, so I decided to kill myself. I skipped school and waited until my parents left the house and I overdosed on pills. Aspirin or tylenol or something. It didn’t work, my body rejected it and then I just kind of layed on my floor until Maggie broke into my room and found me. She had been worried about me, because I wasn’t at school, and she found me in my God damned room trying to die. She was sobbing, begging me to get help, to talk to someone. But I couldn’t tell my parents and she knew that, knew that I couldn’t get antidepressants. So, she talked to her parents, and they ended up setting up appointments with a therapist for me. They were an amazing family, I loved them so much. Maggie was a fucking saint and she helped me through the most depressed years of my life.”

“I’m glad you’re alive.” Jeremy breathes, hugging Trevor tightly.

“Me too, honestly.” Trevor chuckles. “I got to come here and meet you and Jordan and Steffie and Cole. Everything is better now, it’s so much better.”

“I fucking love you, you know that?” Jeremy asks.

“I love you too, Jeremy.” Trevor smiles in the darkness, head pressed against Jeremy’s collarbone, he can feel his heartbeat. There is silence in the room, in the darkness of the night, and the only two in the room are so happy and so comfortable and so in love. This is everything they’ve ever wanted, everything Trevor has dreamed about, everything Jeremy has wished for. Their pulses beat, out of sync, but connected. In this room, this haven, this sanctuary, everything is perfect in the darkness, in the warmth. They are in love, young love, and it is all they need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo look at that. if you guys have anything you really want me to put in the story, this is the last chance to tell me because all I have left is an epilogue. really. one more chapter and it's over. hope you liked it.


	31. Icon

_Trevor Collins: The Icon We Need and The Icon We Deserve_

_One of the most popular web shows,_ _RWBY_ _, has just wrapped its fourth season. In my opinion, it was amazing and sad, how could they do that? How? This heart wrenching finale won the show a Webby and an award for ‘Best Animated Web Series’. And now, there is groundwork in place for the release of a manga adaptation early next spring. But I actually scored a chance to sit down and talk with the head animator of_ _RWBY_ _, Trevor Collins._

_If you don’t know who Trevor Collins is, you’re definitely missing out. He was in charge of most character designing for the show, working closely with the head writers to develop an art style that worked for the scripts. According to Miles Luna, one of the head writers and co-creators, Collins actually helped push the show to the level of representation it has now. “Trevor marched into my room one day and slammed a script down on my desk.” Miles Luna recalls. “He said ‘Miles, Miles, Miles, we need representation here! Queer characters! You know how hard it is to grow up without role models, okay? We need to show our younger audience that they’re accepted’. So, we talked for like, four hours about how we can incorporate the aspects of the LGBTQIA+ community. It’s mostly his fault that we ended up with agender characters like Penny and trans characters like Jaune. That, that was an incredible idea because it lends so much to his story. Trevor is great and I respect him so much.”_

_When asked about Collins, Kdin Jenzen, a voice actor on_ _RWBY_ _, laughed and said “I love Trevor with all my heart, he’s like an older brother to me.” She continued to say that he saved her life a few years ago and helped her get to where she is now._

 _Collins recently came out as trans on twitter, saying “Shout out to all those trans kids out there, you can make it through this. If I survived it, you can too.” and then later “To clear up any confusion after the last tweet, yes, I am ftm trans thnks”. He went into more detail in a video that you can watch_ **_here_ ** _, explaining that he identified as asexual as well as homoromantic. He explained his views on representation and diversity in the media, offered advice to teens struggling with their identity, and talked about the effect that being trans had on his mental health. When asked what lead him to come out now, he explained, “I just got married a few months ago and it was- It was amazing seeing my name on the certificate. It felt right, and I just felt that there was no reason not to be entirely open about it.”._

 _As it was mentioned above,_ _RWBY_ _is a great platform for queer representation, featuring characters from all across the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. It features not only Penny and Jaune, but an asexual character named Lie Ren, genderfluid Blake Belladonna, bisexual Weiss Schnee, aromantic Ozpin, demisexual Ruby Rose, and non-binary Velvet Scarlatina. While being host to a slew of queer characters, there are also some straight, cis people, like Glinda Goodwitch and Qrow Branwen Even though it just wrapped a season, there have been many reassurances that it will not be stopping, which is great news to any of its fans._

 _When asked what his plans for the future were at ComiCon, Trevor Collins stated that he was going to spend a lot more time with Jeremy [his husband and main voice actor of_ _RWBY_ _] and our dog, Goose [known for playing the part of Ruby’s dog, Zwei], but that he was going to continue to work on Ruby and maybe come up with some new character designs._

_Jeremy Dooley, when asked about his husband, stated “Trevor is by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me. We met at a dumb college festival a few years ago, and we’ve been inseparable ever since, even though it took me a few months to ask him out. It was a good time, he’s a good guy, and I love him with all of my heart.”_

_I sat down with Trevor at a local cafe to talk about multiple things. He was very nice and cordial and he deemed it ‘really cool’ that I was interviewing him. I also learned that he has amazing fashion sense, and when I told him this, he offered to go clothes shopping with me. But then we actually had to do the interview._

_I asked him about his mention of mental health and asked him to elaborate on it. “My mental health isn’t the best.” He admitted, fiddling with a wooden coffee stirrer. “Some of it is genetic, honestly, but a lot of it was growing up trans with my parents. They were very religious and it took its toll on me. Not that all religious people are horrible, I know some great religious people! But, for a while in my teens, religion scared the hell out of me. My parents made me go to church since I was born, and they talked about the sins of homosexuality and being trans a lot. Like, excessively. It horrified me because they were talking about me, even if no one else knew it. It kind of amplified my anxiety a lot, like the sit up straight, act straight thing. I was so scared of doing anything wrong. I attempted suicide once. Beginning of high school, I believe. I survived, my friend found me on the floor, but I couldn’t tell my parents, they didn’t believe in mental illnesses. And everything got worse without meds, I spiraled into depression, crashed even. And when I came out to my parents as trans, that… That did not go well. Suffice it to say, they believed that I was a sinner and they tried to fix that.” “Do you have any advice for trans kids?” Trevor nods. “Yeah, actually, just keep your head up, you’re real, you’re valid, and I love you, you’re so brave. It’s hard, it’s going to be hard, but it will get better.” “Does your anxiety affect your part in the creation of_ _RWBY_ _?” “Yes, kind of. There are those inevitable days where I’ll spend four hours on one frame because the lighting is not quite right and I have to fix it because this needs to be the best I’ve ever done. It’s hard, sometimes I’ll end up wasting an entire day and then I’ll work through the night to make sure it gets done.”_

_It’s about this time that Jeremy Dooley comes into the cafe,  a large dog that can only be Goose jumping along beside him. He apologizes for having to drag Trevor away, but I have everything that I need, and Trevor bids me goodbye._

_To recap, Trevor Collins is an angel on this good earth and he’s an amazing queer icon. He works on a popular show and is happily married. He also has a cute dog, what else do you need to know?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it, this is over. also, i did a different format for this, sorry, it just seemed like the best way to wrap it up. I'm actually really proud that this is finally done and I'm really glad I got to put so many B-team people in it. if you have any questions about anything in the story, just ask and I'll answer! you can find me on tumblr taptaptapping.tumblr.com  
> also, shout out to some people for sticking around for this whole thing: GeoffsEightGreatestMistakes and Lackyducks!!! Love you guys.  
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> hey. so.  
> updates every week, hopefully.  
> i don't know how long this'll be, hopefully kind of long, though.  
> also the banter bros are literally my favourites


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